Gary Nelson "Gary's World" Published Dec. 24, 2004

Share the gifts of Christmas all year

That blue and white striped Christian Dior dress shirt hangs tucked away in the corner of my closet. It's a really nice shirt. The shirt is white, has a button down collar and the navy blue vertical stripes are embroidered with navy blue threaded, diamond designs. At one point it was one of the nicest shirts I've owned. It's still a nice shirt, but I never wear it.

I guess after so many doughnuts, chips, cokes, fast-food gobbled meals on the run and vanilla lattes, not to mention the lack of adequate exercise, a shirt can get to be a little snug. In fact the last time I tried this shirt on I would have looked like the Incredible Hulk if my face were green. It almost was after wearing it a few minutes. I normally clean these shirts and clothes that I have outgrown and donate them to Cumberland Good Samaritans or the Fairfield Glade United Methodist Church for its annual rummage sale. But I just can't simply give this shirt away.

No, it's not because I'm hanging on to the glimmer of hope that I might one day be able to fit into it again. Although that would be nice, it's not too practical at this point. The reason is simple. This shirt is the last Christmas present I received from my mother. That is, the last present that she went out, hand picked and shipped to me from Indiana. That year would be 1996.

Shortly after, Mom, who already had diabetes and a knee replacement, suffered from a series of mild strokes that debilitated her physically and mentally. Her short-term memory was damaged and she simply could not go out of the house to get the mail, let alone go Christmas shopping. It was hard on our family. My sisters, who lived the closest, had to care for her day in and day out and watched her go from a clear minded, sharp librarian to a confused woman at times. Mom was quite a conversationalist who could talk for hours. Her laughter was contagious.

After a gradual decline in health, mom got the flu last year. The flu turned into pneumonia and she passed away on Dec. 20, 2004 in the hospital in Portage, IN. I did get to go see her last year just before she passed away at Christmas. It has taken me a year to write this column. I have promised myself and my family that I won't let last year's Christmas ruin it for me every year. Mom never would have wanted it that way.

What it has made me realize, though, is that there is so much more to Christmas than the presents, holiday parties and giving the right gift to someone special. Sure, that makes things nice at Christmas, but it doesn't really matter what you give or get. The best things about Christmas are sharing the time you have together with your family and friends -- even amongst the bickering. Of course there is the religious meaning of Christmas and the celebration of Jesus Christ. It's especially important not to forget about that.

This holiday season will be different for me and my family. I won't lose focus of what's important like I have sometimes in the past. My advice is to take advantage of the time you have with your family members, never take them for granted because they may not always be right there for you to share your time with. Give a hug and share some joy and appreciation with your family and friends. The love you give and show to someone special this year just might be the most important gift you give. It may also be the most important gift you receive. One thing that's really important is to have some fun. These gifts don't have to be saved just for Christmas. Give them throughout the year -- you'll never regret it.

That old Christian Dior shirt may still be hanging in the depths of my closet, but this year I just might get it out, try it on and play Incredible Hulk with the kids. Mom would have loved that.

Merry Christmas!

···
Gary Nelson is a Chronicle staffwriter. His column appears periodically in the Crossville Chronicle. He can be reached by e-mail at gnelson@crossville-chronicle.com.