Frank M. Witowski Jr.

Published Oct. 19, 2005

How to beat those birthday blues

Birthdays are a funny thing, aren't they? We seem to either look forward to them or dread them. Looking back, I consider as a child how I looked forward to them with great expectation. It was a special time in my life full of presents from mom and dad and aunts and uncles. Of course, there were those birthday spankings and those pinches to grow an inch!
Birthdays begin to lose their luster when we enter the teen years until we get close to our 16th birthday and want to drive and obtain a driver's license.

Next, we look forward to turning 18 so we can vote in public elections and celebrate our graduation from high school. I ran into problems finding work because I was only 17 and we relocated to Indiana at the time of my graduation. My 18th birthday marked the end of receiving Christmas presents, birthday cards and gifts from my aunts and uncles.
Turning 21 was no big deal for me since I did not have a desire for alcohol.

A special birthday party was planned on my 23rd birthday by my ex-wife, Lorna, whom I was dating at the time. It wasn't well attended but everyone who came made it special. Lorna pulled a prank using candles that relit and it took me awhile to catch on because I had never seen them before. It was hilarious.

Things seemed to go downhill from there. At 25 in the last church I attended, you were no longer allowed to participate in youth events. They had young married's activities but when I attended there in my late twenties, I was recently divorced.

I think that contributed to my 30th birthday being the hardest birthday I had. I was faithful to my marriage and I hoped to someday remarry. We did not have any children, which was good in many ways, but that contributed to loneliness. It was as if I felt at the age of 30, my youth had expired. I am glad no one threw me an over-the-hill party that year. It sunk in that most people were happily married at my age and I feared there would be no eligible females when I would be ready to date.

Now approaching my 32nd birthday Oct. 20, it's no big deal. I am blessed to be able to spend it with the love of my life, Lisa Smith, from Spring City, whom I hope to marry someday. Though I just physically met her this past weekend, we had spent countless hours praying together and talking together beforehand. We both feel like we have known each other our whole life and are soul mates. I am actually looking forward to my birthday as it gives me an excuse to purchase a couple of wants on my wish list. It would help if my parents sent me cash, too.

I do not know how future landmark birthdays will affect me, but I don't think it will be that hard because I understand there are seasons in our life.

My dad looked forward to being 62 for Social Security and when he would be able to get that special senior citizen discount. However, my mom, who is just 52, isn't too pleased when they automatically give her the discount, too.

It appears after people turn 75, they begin to brag about their age. They appreciate the extra years God has given them and are happy to celebrate their birthday.

We need to adopt this type of mentality to combat those birthday blues.

So if your birthday is coming up, don't be singing those birthday blues. Be thankful for the gift of life. It's a reason to celebrate.
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Frank M. Witowski Jr. is a Crossville Chronicle staffwriter. His column appears periodically. He may be reached at 484-5145.