Dorothy Brush "Random Thoughts" Published June 16, 2004

You should always look up to your father

A father is not someone to lean on but someone who makes leaning unnecessary. This Sunday is the day set aside to think about fathers. It is fitting that we have a day for mothers and another for fathers. When the Ten Commandments were handed down they stated, "Honor thy father and mother," not honor thy parents. In making a clear separation, it seems each has different role in a child's life.

It is sad there are fathers who are not models for their offspring. Several years ago syndicated columnist Mona Charen wrote a scathing article on a group of these fathers. She wrote about the many well known NBA players who had fathered illegitimate children but refused any responsibility for their upbringing. She quoted a Sports Illustrated article which estimated that there was one illegitimate child for every player in the NBA. It explained for each athlete who has no illegitimate children, there is another who has fathered two or three. One player's agent said he spends more time on paternity suits and support claims than on contract negotiations!

Charen didn't excuse the women or paint them as profiles of virtue. She said, "Women who are not married to the men who impregnate them should expect very little." The point of the column was the effect on the children. Even those who receive a monthly support check lack the most important support that only a father's presence could give. Father T. Hessburgh once observed, "The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother." For these children, love was not even an after thought.

There is another large group of children who never knew their father because he was killed in war. During World War II, more than 183,000 children were orphaned. In 1991 one of those orphans founded an organization to bring that group together.

Ann Bennett Mix was not yet five years old when her father was killed in action. She experienced the lasting grief of that loss and more than 50 years later she began the American WWII Orphans Network (AWON) to serve as a support group. There are more than 3,000 members today. For these orphans Father's Day brought only shadowy memories and for many, questions on how their father died and even where he was buried.

At the recent dedication of the National World War II Memorial, more than 500 members of AWON were present and seated together.

Fathers are important and should be someone you look up to no matter how tall you are.

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Dorothy Copus Brush is a Fairfield Glade resident and Crossville Chronicle staffwriter whose column is published each Wednesday.