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David Spates I had George Brett over for Thanksgiving "What did pitcher Timothy Fortugno do
after serving up George Brett's 3,000th hit?" I'll give you a moment to think it over. I'll
be sitting over here humming the theme from "Final Jeopardy!". He picked off Brett at first base. That was a tough one, but it's one of the
good memories I'll take from 2001's Thanksgiving. That was the
question I answered correctly to give my team the win in a rousing
game of Trivial Pursuit. Considering how much pie and L-tryptophan
was coursing through my veins at the time, it's a wonder I was
able to remember who George Brett is, much less what might have
happened shortly after he smacked his 3,000th hit. It was a game for the ages. A classic. Men
against the women, as so often these things go. Dad, my brother-in-law
Doug and I were on one team, and Mom, my wife Shelia and our
7-month-old daughter Anna were the dreaded opposition. True,
the teams were slightly lopsided, but what Anna lacks in sports
stats she more than makes up for in her encyclopedic knowledge
of world history. Anyway, Shelia had to put Anna down to sleep
late in the game, leaving Mom to continue the fight. Being the
gentleman and proponent of fair play that I am, I volunteered
to switch uniforms and even the teams. By this time, both teams
had all their Trivial Pursuit wedges and were maneuvering around
the center spot for a chance at the win. Mom rolled a four, and
we found ourselves in the center section, awaiting our adversaries
to announce from which category they would pose their query. Sports and leisure it was. Not a bad choice.
Although an expert at leisure, Mom is notoriously weak in sports,
and I consider myself fairly well-rounded, useless-trivia-wise. As soon as we heard the first three words,
Mom and I knew she was more than likely out of her element in
terms of correctly answering the question. "What did pitcher
..." brought an immediate rolling of her eyes. Just as I was about to utter something completely
unremarkable, it suddenly hit me -- about the only noteworthy
thing a pitcher could do after surrendering a milestone hit would
be to pick the guy off as he led off base. On that night, the cosmic tumblers clicked
into place as a dollop of sports knowledge meshed with opportunity
to end what was arguably the best game of Trivial Pursuit ever
played in the Western Hemisphere. I suspect it will go down in
our family's verbal lore, to be passed on through generations.
It'll be quite a story to relive every Turkey Day, of how on
Anna's first Thanksgiving, her replacement player came in and
secured the win. Like a starting pitcher who works a strong eight
innings, she still gets credit for the win. Anna's 1-0. So what did you do on Thanksgiving? Any memories
that will live on in your family lore? The reason I'm telling
you the story of the Trivial Pursuit game is twofold. Primarily,
I wanted to gloat, but also I wanted to show how I hope our family's
holidays will continue for years to come. This is how holidays
should be. This is what works for me. The day I go Christmas shopping on Thanksgiving
is the day I know that the family has taken a turn for the worse.
It seems to be a new development in the commercialization of
Christmas. Apparently the day after Thanksgiving is not enough.
Now, many stores are staying open all day on Thanksgiving. I
find that sad. It's sad that the employees are required to trudge
off to work on Thanksgiving. It's sad that people can't give
their credit cards a rest, at least on Thanksgiving. It's sad
that for so many people the holidays are little more than sources
of stress and anxiety over whether they'll be able to afford
the latest greatest whatever. Think back to when you were a kid. Do any
of your fondest holiday memories center around a present? Mine
don't. The presents I'll give Anna in the coming years are totally
insignificant. The memories, on the other hand, will last forever. Celebrate the holidays however you like. If
hitting the mall is your idea of the perfect holiday, then by
all means enjoy. If your family is too much to tolerate for even
one day, then I suppose your only refuge may indeed be a strip
mall. I prefer to do other things, like performing a Trivial Pursuit victory dance. But that's just me. Timothy Fortugno? I've never even heard of the guy. · · · |