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David Spates Fall is by far the best time of year How about something upbeat this week? Whaddya
say? The real world has been awfully depressing. This is arguably the best time of the year
weather-wise. It doesn't get better than this. Autumn is a wonderful
season, and Tennessee is one of the better places to enjoy it. Some people like summer best. You go to the
beach, the kids are out of school, and at least one meal a week
is prepared outdoors over a real fire. Summer has its charms, to be sure, but the
heat, oh my the heat. Summer, for Spring is good. Everything that seemed dead
during the winter suddenly jumps back to life -- lawns, trees,
wild animals, libidos. It's a heck of a lot of fun. You can drive
comfortably with the windows down. Spring also is the time when
you can finally put away the big, puffy winter coat you were
wearing every day for the last two months. One of my favorite
moments in spring comes early; when I come to the realization
that Old Man Winter has finally gasped his last breath and I
won't have to drive on icy roads anymore. Which brings me to winter. My mother always
told me that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say
anything at all. I won't be following that advice here. Sorry,
Mom. The snow can be nice, under the right circumstances. The
problem is that those circumstances haven't presented themselves
since I was about 15 or so. Snow has lost its appeal now that
I must navigate through it. I hate driving in snow and ice. It
just gets me in a foul mood. Not only do you have to devote much of your
attention to avoiding telephone poles that stand inches away
from the slippery road, but you also have to be on guard for
every yahoo in town with a new SUV who thinks snow and ice is
no longer a problem. You've seen these people, I'm sure. They
drive 75 mph in 6 inches of snow, then stomp on their brakes
when they come up behind your car and honk their horns and blink
their lights at you - you, who actually factors in driving conditions
when selecting a speed. There's nothing more dangerous than a moron
who doesn't know he's a moron. Add a little snow and an overhyped
SUV into the equation, and you've got trouble brewing. When I was a young lad, snow meant fun. There
is nothing better in a 10-year-old's life than sitting by the
radio on a snowy Tuesday morning waiting for the DJ to announce
the school closings. Oh, the suspense. Little else will test
the patience of a young boy like waiting for "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida"
to end so Capt. Dan the DJ can rattle off the list of school
cancellations. But that was then. Those days are over. You
don't get snow days as an adult. Which brings me to autumn, or fall, if you
prefer. The season so nice they named it twice. Although it means
winter is on the way, I still like autumn best. I love how the
trees change colors. Sometimes the colors are so bright the landscape
almost looks fake, like a painting in which the artist went berserk
and used the whole tube of ruby red. I love that there are some
days when I can comfortably wear shorts and a sweatshirt. I love
the holidays in autumn. Halloween and Thanksgiving are the two
biggies, and they both emphasize simple fun rather than available
credit. I love it when the leaves fall and scurry
about on a windy day. I don't even mind raking leaves anymore.
It's a simple enough task that I can turn off my brain and let
the process unfold. There's something to be said about accomplishing
menial, labor-intensive tasks, and they don't come much more
menial and labor-intensive than raking leaves. Sometimes, when
I use the leaf blower, I feel like a defensive football player,
pushing back the leaves' line of scrimmage. Push 'em back, push
'em back, waaaaay back! Well, I guess I can't turn off my brain
completely. So that's why I like autumn. Halloween, Thanksgiving, leafy battles, sweatshirts and trees that look like they came from a crayon box. Does it get any better? · · · |