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David Spates What do I like? Plenty "If you can't say anything nice, don't
say anything at all." That's good advice. It's advice Mom
used to give me all the time when I was a kid, and it's something
I try to keep in mind as an adult. But looking back on some of my columns, I
realize that I haven't been following those sage words. Some
folks might say I'm too quick to criticize -- whether the topic
is billionaire space tourists, Ben Franklin's good-idea-gone-bad
daylight-saving time, adulterous slimeball ex-presidents who
lie under oath, commercials televised at the gas pump or the
fact that February is a loathsome little month. It seems I've been saying plenty of not-so-nice
things when I should have been saying nothing at all. I'm not
sure I should shoulder all of the blame, however. I have been
conditioned to look for the negatives in life. We in the newsroom know that bad news garners
more attention than good news. It's just the way of the world.
A story about a father cooking meth while his 6-month-old son
sleeps in a raggedy dog bed a few feet away will always draw
more readers than a story about a Boy Scout who helps little
old ladies cross the street. People may say they want to hear
the good news, but take a listen to what your coworkers are chatting
about over at the water cooler or the vending machines. If they're
talking about something they read in a newspaper, more often
than not they're talking about some of the "bad news." It would seem that I've fallen into that trap
myself with some of the topics I focus on in my weekly diatribe. Well, not today. Today I'm going to write about the things
I like rather than the things I don't like. Novel idea, huh? Let's get started. I like it when my scalp sweats after eating
spicy Thai or Chinese food. I like that a lot. There's nothing
like an good Oriental scalp sweat to keep things in proper perspective. I like it when the neighborhood kids who are
waiting for the school bus wave to me as I leave for work. I
don't even know some of their names, but they wave anyway. I
wave back. It's a good way to start the day. I like it when none of my e-mails begin with
"Fw:" -- forwarded e-mail is the worst. I prefer my
message to be written by a real, live acquaintance. Enough with
the e-jokes. On the upside, I doubt this forwarding fad will
last much longer. I remember when fax machines first started
to appear on the office scene and folks used to fax each other
dopey jokes and cartoons all the livelong day. Thankfully, that
has ended. I like it when my baby daughter curls up in
my arms for a nap after she eats. That's great. The world would
be a much better place if we all took a two-hour nap after every
meal. All we'd need to do is carry a soft blanket covered with
pictures of bunnies and ducks with us so that we could enjoy
a nice snooze. It would be a great way to break up the day. I like having a full tank of gas in my car.
I enjoy the feeling of limitless options. I love the freedom
of knowing that I could travel anywhere within a 280-mile radius
without stopping. I love seeing the needle buried into the "F"
of the fuel gauge. However, my happiness decreases geometrically
as the needle slowly creeps toward the "E." I like it when sports-highlight shows include
"Plays of the Week" features. That's a lot of fun.
It's like boiling down hours and hours' worth of sporting events
into just a few moments. I'm a big fan of boiling down. I like really sharp scissors. I like it when you're last in line at the
grocery store and the cashier in the next aisle over opens up.
You go from last in line to first in line in a matter of seconds.
That's wonderful. I like to watch young kids play video arcade
games that I used to play when I was their age. There I was at
a pizza place watching a 9-year-old play Pac-Man and not doing
very well because he obviously didn't understand what was going
on. When it was my turn, he stuck around to watch me play. It
was fun to watch the look of understanding wash across his face
as my decades-dormant Pac-Man expertise kicked in and I posted
a new high score. Impressing a 9-year-old is always fun -- even
when you're 30. I like it when I run my spell-checker and
it doesn't catch any typos. It didn't happen this time, however.
Somehow I typed "whowhere" instead of "anywhere."
How odd. I like it when I find the perfect Christmas
or birthday gift for someone. Take my wife. (Please! Ba-dum-dum.)
I enjoy being able to use my creativity, insight and familiarity
to come up with a wonderful gift. I'm not talking about merely
asking her what she wants and then buying that exact item. I
enjoy being able to add my personality into the process rather
than simply filling out a laundry list of gift requests. The
best gifts are the ones you didn't know you wanted. I like looking over my column and realizing I've written enough for this week. |