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David Spates Could you go meatless We crave the flesh. We want to gnaw the bone.
The more flesh, the better. There's nothing tastier than a big,
bloody mouthful of a slower, dumber animal. As civilized and
refined as we humans like to consider ourselves, you'd have a
better chance of pulling away a saliva-soaked pig ear from a
rottweiler's jaws than removing a Heinz 57-drenched porterhouse
away from a beef-starved homo sapien. We like to eat the flesh of dead animals.
You can phrase it however you wish, but that's the reality. I pulled this interesting statistic from a
published poll conducted by Zogby America. It showed that 77.2
percent said they could go a week without meat for $1,000, and
1.6 percent said they weren't sure, but the most interesting
number is that the rest, 21.2 percent, said even with presented
a $1,000 payday at the end of the week they couldn't go seven
days without eating meat. Among racial groups, 76.2 percent of whites
and 70.9 percent of blacks indicated they'd be able to go fleshless
for a week, while 91.6 percent of Asians and 93.3 percent of
Hispanics said they could be a seven-day vegetarian for $1,000. I like meat as much or maybe even more than
the next omnivore, but I know I could give it up for $1,000.
I cannot imagine having that low a level of willpower. Would
it be easy? Of course not. Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Would
I dream of cheeseburgers, filet mignon and chicken parmesan during
my week of fruit and veggie nibbling? I'm sure I would. There'd
probably be one night during the week when I'd wake up in a cold
sweat following a dream in which I, Arthur Ashe, Salvador Dali
and the off-Broadway cast of "Cats" were enjoying a
plump Butterball turkey with spare ribs and grilled shrimp all
the while enjoying the sights and sounds of Venice aboard a 45-foot
gondola shaped like a oboe. And, of course, you'd have to be
sure not to offend Mr. Dali, who has a penchant for getting irked
and turning into a titmouse and flying away if he doesn't get
one of the drumsticks and his choice of baked potato toppings.
(Why am I the only one who has that dream?) But regardless of my normal, natural cravings
and my somewhat peculiar dreams, I'm sure I could go the distance
and collect the $1,000. It's just a matter of mental discipline.
I don't like the fact that sometimes my hankerings and desires
sometimes override my better judgment. That's why I got so frustrated
the times I tried to quit smoking and failed. I hated the fact
that my yen for cigarettes was stronger than my desire to quit
smoking. I don't like to lose, and not accomplishing my goal
of quitting smoking meant I lost. I don't fail often, and not
being able to quit was a failure. (I finally did quit, but it
probably was the toughest mental challenge I've ever undertaken.) Could you give up meat for a week if it meant
$1,000? It's an interesting proposition. I'd almost like to try
it just for kicks to see what happens. It would be nice to get
the $1,000, but unless you want to cut me a check, I guess I'd
just have to do it for my own satisfaction. Dave vs. dead animals:
Who will be the victor? Now, I'm not sure if things like hot dogs count since they're really more chemical and animal. That would be a tough call. I might need a third-party ruling on that. I'll let you know. |