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David Spates Maybe you should wear I was all set to write about the state lottery.
I had done a little research, considered what I would say, and
had even eaten a little something before sitting down at the
computer so that I wouldn't be forced to endure ever-present
stomach-rumbling while I peck out this week's waste of newsprint.
I had written about the lottery before, but this was to be a
fresh look. That was before I came across Michael O'Shea. Flipping through the Sunday News-Sentinel,
I came across the Parade insert. I enjoy parts of Parade. The
Q&A at the front is about as dopey as "Entertainment
Tonight," and the lame comics make "Family Circus"
seem downright acerbic by comparison, but there are some points
of interest. The cover features are usually pretty good, and
you usually can count on Marilyn Vos Savant's column to give
you some sort of brain-buster interesting enough that you'll
find yourself turning the page upside down to read the answer.
(Side note: Don't you just hate it when some twit from Battle
Creek, MI, or wherever asks her what she thinks about a social
issue? Vos Savant is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records
as having the highest IQ, plus she has an interesting outlook
on things -- kind of a Dr. Laura meets Spock. If I have the chance
to ask a question of supposedly the brainiest person in the world,
you can bet I won't waste my question determining how she feels
about the marriage tax or abortion.) Anyway, back to the issue that moved today's
state lottery column to the back burner. Like I said, I was reading
Parade when I came across a fitness column written by Dr. Michael
O'Shea in which he answers a "reader's" question about
sledding safety. He writes in his column that children should
always wear protective helmets when sledding. Helmets? When sledding? Helmets? Come on,
Doc! I realize you're a physician and want to reduce injuries,
particularly to children, but this whole kid-helmet thing has
gotten a little out of hand. There are plenty of risks in life, and sledding
without a helmet is an acceptable risk. I agree that kids should
wear helmets when riding bikes or those new scooter things. In
a contest of head vs. concrete, the smart money's on the concrete.
But sledding down a snow-covered hill? Puuhhlllleeezze! O'Shea writes in his column, "More than
70,000 injuries related to sleds, toboggans, plastic tubes and
snow disks were reported in the U.S. in 1999, says the American
Academy of Orthopedic Surgeons." Sure, 70,000 injuries sound
like a lot, but in a country of nearly 300 million people, those
odds really aren't too shabby. I'd wager that more than 70,000
children injure themselves slipping in the shower or bathroom,
but I don't hear anyone recommending that parents should strap
a helmet on their little angel before she hops in the tub with
Mr. Bubble. I don't want to sound like one of those old
fogies (particularly since I'm only 30) who rant about how things
were when they were growing up, but the last thing in the world
I would have thought of while skidding down a 30-degree hill
mined with skin-removing stumps and rocks lurking beneath the
snowy surface was a safety helmet. My parents didn't seem too
worried about it either. Does that make them uncaring parents?
No, of course it doesn't. I didn't wear a bicycle helmet either. No
one my age did. It was a different time. Parents didn't seem
to worry about as much then as they do now. Perhaps they should
have, but they didn't. Their senses told them that bicycle helmets
-- not to mention sledding helmets -- weren't necessary. I hate
to use the phrase, "I did so-and-so and I turned out fine,"
but there it is. Kids will get hurt. Your kid will get hurt.
Your friend's kid will get hurt. My kid, who's not even out of
the womb yet, will get hurt. We're all someone's kid, and we
get knocked around constantly. I'm all for safety and taking
reasonable steps to reduce risks, but sledding helmets is a little
ridiculous. If I had shown up at our neighborhood sledding hill
wearing a helmet, a concussion would have been preferable to
the razzing I would have received that day and every other day
of my elementary-school life. Sometimes kids have to show other
kids how tough they are. It's stupid and juvenile, I know, but
then so are kids, including me. Owwwww!!! Man, that hurt!!! Sonofa ... I just slipped and knocked my head against the computer monitor. It's a good thing I was wearing my typing helmet. That could have been a nasty injury. |