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David Spates The Fonz would have been Why can't more people be like the Fonz? The Fonz was cool. He wasn't cool because
he could bring the chicks running with a snap of the fingers.
He wasn't cool because he could make the juke box play Elvis
with a well-placed punch, and he wasn't cool because he let dorks
like Richie, Ralph and Potsie hang around him. The Fonz was cool because he didn't show off
-- period. The Fonz did the best he could do, and that
almost always was better than the next guy. Brian Lewis, Bernard Williams, John Drummond
and Maurice Greene obviously weren't big fans of the Fonz. If
they had been, the ridiculous spectacle that took place following
the U.S. victory in the men's 4x100 relay race never would have
happened. In case you missed it, after these guys won
the race -- a race that everyone was fairly certain they would
win - they strutted around the track, stripped their uniforms
down to their waists, flexed their muscles and mugged it up for
the cameras. I was embarrassed for my fellow speedy countrymen.
They made us all look bad. Can someone please explain to me the thought
process involved here? When did this develop? It is relatively
new, you understand. Jesse Owens never ripped off his shirt and
did his best Gene Simmons tongue impersonation. Mark Spitz never
gave his best Superman pose for the photographers. There was
a time when winning was enough, being the best in the world was
enough, and dominating your field was enough. Those times seem
to be fading. We have so much emotion bottled up that we
have to keep contained because we have to focus on our races;
when it's all over you have that opportunity to exhale, Drummond
said following the Olympic win. Fine. Exhale. But can't you exhale
with a little sportsmanship? A little decorum? Can't we all be
more like the Fonz? I felt like I was watching Saturday night
WWF wrestling. (Or was it Friday morning or Sunday around noon?
With the ridiculous NBC coverage of the Summer Olympic mini-series,
I can never be certain when I saw what. By the way, did anyone
else find it kind of creepy to watch Bob Costas pretend he has
no idea of the outcome during the primetime Olympic coverage?
I've always enjoyed and respected Costa's work, but the goofball
manner in which the Olympics were presented knocks Bob down a
few pegs in my book. Well, enough of that soapbox.) Anyway, back to the smackdown feel of the
4x100 celebration. I wonder if Lewis, Williams, Drummond and
Greene thought that anyone would actually enjoy watching their
antics or were they simply out of control with no idea how ridiculous
they looked to the rest of us? Do you know anyone who thought
that was appropriate? Apart from the pro wrestling fans of the
world, I cannot imagine how anyone could have enjoyed that. It
was like watching Uncle Earl get drunk at your wedding and clumsily
grope the bridesmaids - you simply cannot believe your eyes,
and you want to crawl under the table until it all goes away.
And yet there they were. And what makes it
worse is, like Uncle Earl's bourbon-induced probing hands, the
runners' decidedly uncool display is one of the strongest memories
we'll take away from the event. Obviously, most of the U.S. athletes exercised much more self-control than these four jokers, but it was their action that helps to confirm the ugly American stereotype held by so many throughout the world. We Americans are the best at a lot of things,
but when it comes to sportsmanship, it's glaring displays like
that of the relay team that paints all U.S. athletes -- and all
U.S. citizens, for that matter -- poorly in the eyes of the world
community. Where, oh where, is the Fonz when you need
him? Who will teach these young punks the true meaning of cool?
Even Chachi would have been ashamed of what these guys pulled.
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