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David Spates Dad deserves better Sure, the animated singing trophy bass may
seem like a good idea while you're standing in line at your favorite
mart, but don't do it. Just put it down. The same goes for the battery-operated illuminated
tie, the $20 gift certificate to the House of Wicker, the bowling
ball with the phrase "Life is a seven-ten split," and
the tire-puncture sealant kit. They're all bad gift ideas. Your dad deserves better for Father's Day. I'm not a father, so unless I rent a child
on Sunday there's not much chance of me getting a Father's Day
present. That being said, I'd like to call upon every human offspring
to finally put an end to the tradition of giving dad a gag gift
for Father's Day. It's a travesty of the holiday system. For decades dads have been snubbed on the
day that should be their very own. I defy you to show me a dad
who ever received a decent present on Father's Day. Fathers have
drawers full of Father's Day gifts, all of which no doubt were
once thought to be quite clever - something dad never would buy
for himself. Well, allow me to let you in on a little revelation
- there's a reason dad never would have bought a fur-lined tool
belt. If we treated moms on Mother's Day the way
we treated dads on Father's Day, we'd never hear the end of it.
Mothers get great presents - everything from a trip to a day
spa to a handmade keychain holder crafted by their little angels
in art class. We as children, old and young, know that we had
better come up with something good on Mother's Day. Anything
with the phrase "As Seen On TV!" on the box simply
is not an option. But for whatever reason we don't seem to put
the same care and planning into our Father's Day presents. Too
often we end up settling, i.e. whatever the Shop 'N' Pump is
featuring at the checkout aisle at 10 the night before Father's
Day. Believe me, dad doesn't want a $1.99 cassette of Conway
Twitty's biggest hits, nor will he enjoy a "World's Greatest
Dad" cap. Why do we treat dad this way? I don't know.
Maybe it's some biological connection we have with our mothers.
Perhaps moms are able to implant genetic code for giftgiving
into the fetus. After all, mother and child are all alone for
nine months - living inside someone for that long might affect
retail choices long after the umbilical cord is cut. Not to mention
placenta. If that thing can prevent viruses and bacteria from
reaching the fetus, what chance does a father have to input gift
suggestions? Sure, the mother's role in the development
of a child is crucial. After all, you can't discount the whole
birthing thing. That's fairly big, I'll grant you. However, dads
- good dads - are every bit as important to a child. I would
hate to think how I would have turned out had my dad not been
who he is. That's taking nothing away from my mother. It's just
an acknowledgment of the great job my dad did. Ideally, parenting is a team sport. I feel
sorry for children who grow up without their fathers in their
lives, and for the children whose fathers are little more than
uninvolved, uninterested third-party spectators. Both the dads
and the children are missing out on something splendid. So what are you giving your dad for Father's Day? Something you think he'll settle for or something he really deserves? |