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David Spates On the road again Mile marker 56 Mile marker 90 Mile marker 149 Mile marker 187 Is there anything better than the family vacation
road trip? Well, actually, there are plenty of things better
than the family vacation road trip, but there certainly is nothing
so memorable. A trip from Crossville to Knoxville Friday
evening sparked this realization. Friday evenings - and Saturday
mornings, I suppose - is when most families traditionally begin
their week-long vacation road trips. In the hour-long trip Friday,
I saw no less than 15 vehicles I can unequivocally guarantee
contained families starting their summer vacation, and I smiled
every time I saw one. You can spot a family-vacation-road-trip vehicle
easily. First, you have the kids in the back seat bouncing off
the walls with excitement, their little brains buzzing with sugar,
caffeine and saturated oils from the numerous fast-food stops.
Sooner or later, however, the kids come down off their junk-food
high and crash - hard. Thus is the second tell-tale sign of a
vacationing family. Look for tiny socked feet propped up against
the window in an effort to get a little more comfortable for
a few blissful moments of sleep. The moments not only are blissful
for the children recovering from a Happy Meal detox, but also
for the parents who can finally enjoy a little quiet as the miles
tick away. I always had a tough time in the car when I was a kid on the family vacation. My problems were - and still are - numerous. For one, I can't read in a moving car. It gives me a fierce headache. I feel as though my head is swimming in cheap tequila and my stomach is digesting a baker's dozen of chili dogs. Maybe next time I'll just bring along some
cheap tequila and a bag of greasy, disgusting chili dogs and
just forget about the idea of reading. My second problem is that
I cannot sleep unless I'm lying down. So right off the bat, you
realize that I'm in for a long trip when you take those top-two
pastimes off the table. Third, I'm tall, and the back seats of
most vehicles were not designed with anyone other than Malaysian
Pygmies in mind. So with those factors in mind, my parents
were left to contend with a tall, bored, sleep-deprived child.
No wonder we usually took planes on really long trips. So pack up your tribe and hit the open road this summer. It's a tradition that's worth continuing. With gas prices as high as they are, however, you may want to limit your choices of destinations to a 150-mile radius. Shorter trips also reduce the number of times you have to respond to, "Are we there yet?" |