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David Spates The time to question the
Well, well, well. What ever shall we discuss
today? Before we all get sick and tired of hearing about it (if
we haven't already), let's revisit what exactly has happened
on the political scene over the past week. First off let me say very clearly that the
"butterfly" ballots that have caused such a ruckus
in Florida are not confusing. Even though I consider myself smarter
than the average bear, I've got to believe that even the below-average
bears should have no trouble determining that big black arrows
leading from a candidate's name to a particular punch hole is
not too baffling. (Somewhat interesting side point: Don't we
all think that we're probably smarter than the next guy? Well,
obviously we can't all be smarter than the average bear. The
trouble is that dim-witted people don't realize they're dim-witted.
Why? Because they're dim-witted! Maybe I'm a moron and just don't
know it. Maybe you are, too. Think about how stupid the average
person is and then realize that half of us are stupider than
that. It's a notion that will keep you home at night.) Anyway, back to the Indecision 2000. Like I was saying, the ballots are not that
confusing, but let's say for the sake of argument that you are
a voter and couldn't quite figure out which hole to punch. If
you have any question whatsoever, why in the world would you
not ask an official election volunteer for help? That's why they're
there! To help! If you need help and don't ask for it, then whatever
happens after that is your own fault. It's that simple. I saw a great piece on CNN the other day. Jeanne Moos, who does arguably the best "man-on-the-street" features on TV, showed the ballot to dozens of New Yorkers and asked them which hole they would punch if they wanted to vote for Al Gore. Every person she asked, except for one guy, picked the correct hole. Many of the people she interviewed agreed that the ballot was a little confusing, but they all were able to pick the right hole. Some folks said that while they are astute enough to pick the right hole, they feared that their grandmothers might have a tough time traversing the perilous Florida ballot. So Jeanne Moos asked grandmothers in their
70s and 80s what hole they would punch to vote for Al Gore. The
answers were a little slower in coming, but all the grannies
got it right. What does that tell you? It tells me that
your grandma is sharper than you think she is. Shame on you for
thinking she can't figure out a poorly designed ballot. But regardless of the reason, we are left
with a big fat mess. Regardless of the outcome, someone's going
to feel like they were cheated, and that's not a good way to
begin a stint in the big chair. There's one more thing I must mention before
I go. Did anyone other than me really enjoy Tim Russert and his
little dry-erase marker board last Tuesday evening? With a bank
of supercomputers pumping out dazzling state-of-the-art graphics
for NBC, Russert goes "old school" and vividly demonstrates
what states each candidate needed to carry to win the presidency.
And the best thing about it was that Russert shorthand was infinitely
clearer and on point than any of the glitzy computer graphs and
charts the cyber-journalists were producing behind the scenes. Given the choice, I'll take Russert's pithy
scribbles over Electoral College charts prepared by Industrial
Light and Magic. Too bad the future of our country's leadership isn't as obvious as a dry-erase marker board. |