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David Spates Henry Hitchcock was the king of Butts Up A word of advice: If you ever find yourself
in the fourth grade in the late 1970s, don't play Butts Up with
Henry Hitchcock. As I look at that sentence, I realize that
it may require further explanation. You see, when I was a kid
attending Cedar Bluff Intermediate School, Butts Up was the
game to play during recess. (As I matured, however, I am forced
to admit that we should have come up with a better name for our
game.) Anyway, in 1979 Butts Up was the game, and Henry Hitchcock
was the champ. The rules of Butts Up are very simple. All you need is a hard rubber ball and a bunch of boys with no fear, for the object of Butts Up is punishment brutal, barbarous, cruel punishment. You also need a good ball-bouncing wall, one big enough that a 9-year-old can throw a ball from 40 feet away and hit it. The game is started when the champ Henry
Hitchcock, in the case of CBIS throws the ball against
the wall. The pack of boys then battle to catch and hold onto
the ball. If a boy touches the ball but fails to hold, control
and then throw it back to the wall, he must run to the wall and
touch it. During his run, he is the target. Whoever has the ball
must then throw it at the boy before he reaches the wall. If
the boy running to the wall is hit before he reaches it, it's
Butts Up time! And that's when the punishment starts. The wounds would last for days. You could
never draw blood - it was just a hard rubber ball after all
but a young boy with a strong arm could leave a good, deep bruise,
and there's nothing that instills more pride in a 9-year-old
boy than to leave his mark on a fellow Butts Up player. That's the game, and Henry Hitchcock was the
best. He was the master, a true Butts Up artist. Henry would
always be in the right place at the right time to scoop up dropped
balls and drill the buttery-fingered kid before he reached the
wall. He had speed. He had great hands. And he never missed an
opportunity to leave a ball-sized welt on some hapless kid's
rear end or leg. But what really made Henry Hitchcock the king
of CBIS Butts Up was his trademark ricochet punishment shot.
You see, if you made Henry Hitchcock mad before or during the
game and he had a chance to give you a punishment shot, he would
often attempt to bounce the ball off the ground, then off the
wall and hit the boy in the front just below the belt,
if you catch my meaning. I've seen it happen, and believe me,
those are not pleasant memories. I always tried to stay on Henry Hitchcock's
good side, and I made sure I never dropped the ball if
he was within a 10-foot radius. Had a boy known he was about to receive a
dreaded Henry Hitchcock frontal Butts Up punishment shot, I'm
sure he would have requested a cigarette and blindfold. I never endured a punishment shot like that
from Henry Hitchcock, and for that I am eternally grateful. I
fear that I would still be suffering the effects if I had, either
physically or possibly in the form of some kind of post-traumatic
stress disorder. The memory of Henry Hitchcock and Butts Up was reawakened recently when I was bouncing a hard rubber ball, the kind we used for our games. I wonder what Henry Hitchcock is doing right now. He's probably a lawyer or an investment banker or maybe even a diplomat, for all I know. For me, however, that lawyer, banker, diplomat or whatever will always be the king of CBIS Butts Up. He ruled the playground in 1979 with fear and fairness, and what more can you ask of a champion? |