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David Spates Anna? Who's this Anna, anyway? We have this odd little habit in our family.
We often don't call people, and pets for that matter, by their
given names. I'm not sure how or why this practice has flourished
over the years, but it continues with another generation -- my
baby daughter, Anna. Actually, this week, it's Bandolier. Somehow, our 3-month-old palindrome has seen
her name corrupted into numerous versions, the latest being Bandolier.
I don't know why we do it, and I don't know where the other names
come from, but come they do and I often have to make a concentrated
effort in order to call Anna by her given name. Maybe it's just
part of the tradition that is being a Spates. We're a goofy bunch. In the hospital shortly after the delivery,
my wife and I called our daughter by her given name. The hospital
is a somewhat serious place after all. Apart from the folks in
the maternity wing, the hospital isn't filled with too many people
who are enjoying their time there. Chances are that if you're
in the hospital, something is very wrong. Either you're the one
getting worked on or you're visiting a friend or family member
who's in for some body work. Even the ladies on the maternity
wing, who are there to experience probably the most wonderful
and life-altering event of their lives, are a fairly edgy. Spending
the afternoon in metal stirrups listening to a nurse reminding
you to relax is bound to make anyone reach for the self-medicating
button on the epidural drip. So in the hospital, under these most serious
and joyous circumstances, it was Anna this and Anna that. Perhaps
following the lead of the doctors, nurses and newly minted grandparents,
my wife and I were happy to stick with Anna. It wasn't long, however, until we left the
safe confines of the maternity ward and struck out on our own
to live our lives filled with joy, wonder and ridiculous nicknames.
Probably before we changed our first homebound diaper, Anna had become Anna Cabana. Where Cabana
came from I have no idea. It just kind of rolled off my tongue.
Cabana flows so well with Anna. It kind of sounds like the name
of a World War II pinup girl. Anna Cabana soon became Cabana. I guess we
needed a shortened version, but I submit that most reasonable
people would have dropped the Cabana and reverted back to Anna.
But those are reasonable people, and Anna wasn't able to select
her parents. Cabana took a slight detour and turned into
Banana for a week or so, but that didn't last too long. Too fruity,
perhaps. Banana still makes an appearance every so often, usually
when Anna is wearing something yellow, but for the most part
Banana is a lower-tiered moniker. Banana did yield a personal
favorite of mine, Banana Boat, which is usually reserved for
those days when we feel even more absurd than we normally do. In the Cabana/Banana days, it was unconsciously
determined that Bana was a much finer way to refer to our child.
I know, I know. You have to keep in mind that we Spateses are
all a little nuts. Bana lasted for many weeks. It works on so
many levels. It's just a word that's fun to say. It's hard to
get too frustrated at someone you call Bana. Banjo was the next obvious evolution in the
process, followed by Bando and Brando. No doubt Marlon is proud
to know his name has seeped into our household. And that brings us to this, the fourth week
in July, where Bandolier has moved into the nursery. My wife
and I don't sit down and consciously think up these names, they
just sort of present themselves. Sometimes we worry that it might
be rather confusing to our little girl, who has had so many names
during her first three months of life, but nobody said being
a Spates was easy. The thin-skinned need not apply. I'm sure we'll go back to Anna soon. We can't
keep going like this much longer. As fun as it is, we'll be reaching
a point soon where our daughter will need to be able to know
with total certainty that her name is Anna. I don't know everything
about raising a child, but I am fairly certain that a consistent
name is somewhat important. Until then, however, Bandolier and I are enjoying
our time together. Sometimes I wonder what she thinks my name is. · · · |