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Mike Moser I finally found the job I want When it comes to work, Tim Nelson is about
as laid-back as a worker can get and I want his job. He is an
inspector at La-Z-Boy Inc.'s factory in nearby Dayton and, yes,
he sits down on the job all day long. Tim was interviewed recently by Associated
Press writer Jason Strait (one of the reporters assigned to the
Byron Looper murder trial) and after reading the story, I realized
being an inspector at a recliner factory could be the perfect
job, especially for me. I spend a large chunk of my time at home doing
just that ... reclining. A supervisor at the factory told Strait that
training to be an inspector at the La-Z-Boy plant can take up
to two months and only the most meticulous of workers are selected
for the task. Shoot, I have an adult-lifetime of experience
reclining at home, so I should be able to step right into that
job instead of having to work my way up through the ranks. I come home from a day at the Chronicle and
find my recliner and immediately take my pre-supper nap. After
supper I return to the recliner where I smoke my pipe, read the
daily newspapers, and nap. I then watch a favorite show or two, and nap.
And maybe, if I am awake enough, I might have a bowl of cereal
or ice cream while in my recliner. So there you go. I practically live in one.
Just ask the family. Sometimes they have to turn the television
up because the snoring gets so loud. Finally, at some point long after the nightly
news has gone off and the late night talkshow hosts are babbling
on and on, I have to get up to go to bed, if that makes any sense. If that is not as good a testimonial to nominate
someone to be a recliner inspector, then I don't know what is. While those who are employed as recliner inspectors
protest that the job is not that easy, popping up and down in
as many as 130 chairs a day, I suspect they might be protesting
too much. If they disagree, they should sit in my hard, wooden
chair all day and type police and court news. One thing did bother me. One inspector told
Strait, "It's not like they give us popcorn and a TV to
watch. Up and down all day, man, it can be a workout." Can you really properly inspect a recliner
without TV and a bowl of popcorn? I wonder. * * * The factory worker grew weary of someone snitching
his lunch, so he laid a trap for the thief by bringing brownies
laced with the laxative. When the worker entered the breakroom,
to his horror, he spotted his boss snacking on the brownies that
had been taken from the worker's lunch bag. The boss in short order suffered what folks
in Alabama call "the back door trots" and when the
boss' gastrointestinal works were exhausted, the worker was fired. The worker filed for unemployment compensation
but last week a Commonwealth Court panel ruled he was not due
compensation because lacing the brownies with Ex-lax "essentially
amounted to an assault on a co-worker ..." And while he gets no unemployment check, the worker must have drawn a certain amount of pleasure discovering who had been pilfering his lunch. |