CROSSVILLE CHRONICLE Opinion   Mike Moser "I Say" 'Millionaire's' insurer wants dumb and dumber Three times a week we hunker down in our un-supported (people with children who flop instead of sit know what I am talking about) living room furniture, crowded around the television for a show called "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire." We size up the contestants as if they were representing our dreams, instead of theirs, race to spew out the answers, grimace and twist in our seats as a contestant agonizes over what appears to us an easy answer, and begrudgingly admit when we don't know the answer. Like a record number of households across the country, 'Millionaire' has become a ritual in our household. Dinner is rushed. Sometimes dishes are left undone to soak. Homework grinds to a halt. And the little one shuffles off to her bedroom in despair at being knocked off The Cartoon Network. And, yes, we have become prone to ask at inappropriate times, "Is that your final answer?" I tried to be a contestant one night. I dialed the 1-800 number on a lark. I am the same one who got a busy signal once dialing the phone company, but on the third try I was shocked to hear a ring on the other end of the line, followed by a welcome to the 'Millionaire' contest line. After excitedly registering my name, age and phone number, I was told I would be given 10 seconds to place in specified order four answers. In my case it was the order of four modern television shows. I was anxious, palms sweaty and mind racing. Then I heard the answers. Answers? I didn't recognize one show. Tick. Tick. Tick. I haven't watched network television since Lou and Mary and Rhoda and Ted Knight and Bob Newhart were followed by Carol Burnett on Saturday night. In desperation I randomly punched four numbers and I swear I heard the computer voice laugh while telling me "Thanks, try again." It was pressure...10 seconds, and I cracked. In retrospect, I was kinda glad I didn't make national television so that some of my former high school classmates could see me struggle into that pedestal seat. That, I am sure, is a fate worse than losing. It was amusing to me this week to read that the company that insures the show has filed suit to get out of its contract because they are at risk of paying out too much money. I think the show's developers underestimated American gameshow groupies. We might all want to be millionaires, but how many of us will throw down a sure $125,000 for a one-in-four chance at $250,000 when one really has no clue as to who was mayor of Moscow, Idaho, in 1948? The insurer wants harder questions? Or dumber contestants? Hmmmm... Hand me the phone, Susan, I might have a chance yet. Use your browser's back button to return to the previous page