At least I didn't run alongside the school bus, maniacally waving, while smiling and crying at the same time. Of course that's only because the wheels on the bus failed to go round and round our subdivision cul-de-sac. Did I mention that my solar plexus is still a little sore?
Bus rides, lockers, gym shoes, hot or cold lunch, evil sandburs at recess: the first week of kindergarten has been an education. I think Ella also learned a thing or two.
While we've been mentally preparing ourselves for the first day of kindergarten since 2002, we bought school supplies at the last minute like everyone else. With her hopefully free from lead-based paint Disney Princess backpack in tow, Ella went out to catch her first school bus. Naturally being first time school-age parents we had her out the door a mere 45 minutes early. So we snapped off a few hundred digital photos and videotaped another installment of "The Public Embarrassment Known as My Parents — The Early School Years” to capture the historic moment.
Being the first day of school, mom opted for fashion sense instead of this outfit makes no sense in light of glue-wielding kindergartners. For now our daughter is happy to oblige; dutifully wearing the new kitty skirt, white dress shirt and pink sweater. Three things will eventually unravel the school clothes harmony: sixth grade, hormones, and one too many trips to the mall.
However, the real first school dilemma wasn't matching socks, but addressing the busing issue. As in where is the bus that is supposed to pick up the overeager kid in the kitty skirt, somehow still white dress shirt and pink sweater at the end of our driveway.
Riding the school bus came out of scheduling necessity and our daughter's keen interest in sharing a seat with two neighborhood friends. As parents, however, we saw past the hypnotic flashing yellow lights and envisioned "Lord of the Flies” anarchy on wheels. While we both survived the 1976-1982 bus years, it did leave a few scars: my wife and a #2 pencil incident, and myself the mental anguish of walking down the aisle in husky boy Toughskins.
Of course you can't wrap your child in bubble wrap — not without a call from protective services. All you can do is stress right from wrong. You can also hope that any F-bombs launched from the back of the bus don't land within earshot.
Turns out we didn't need to worry about explosive four-letter words since our daughter was not listed on the school bus pick up list. Unless you count the Beetle Bailey mutterings as daddy drove lickety-split to beat the school bell. In case you're wondering, lickety-split is somewhere between five and 700 mph over the posted speed limit.
As first days of kindergarten go, this one featured coloring, learning to raise your hand, the discovery of nose goblins under the cafeteria table, and a message on the answering machine about an "incident” involving our child. Just a typical first day of school. Of course the message contained several other wonderful words beside "incident” but I honed in on that one. The message assured us that all was well, but I feared a monkey bar fall or an errant #2 pencil. Instead it was a playground tussle with some thorny sandburs that caused plenty of tears and a few scratches.
After the first week of school, Ella loves kindergarten. She pops out of bed in the morning when you whisper the words school bus. She even brings home drawings and talks in enthusiastic run-on sentences about her day.
Of course the thrill of ABC's and 123's will one day give way to teen-angst monosyllabic replies to "how was school” inquiries. I just hope Ella will ride the bus on her first day of school her senior year so I can maniacally run alongside it. Unfortunately I know the answer — call it a parental gut feeling.
Grand Traverse Herald editor Garret Leiva can be reached at 933-1416 or e-mail gleiva@gtherald.com