Editor's note: In May of this year, Joe and Emily Millward welcomed the birth of their second child, Isabelle as their older son, Joey succumbed to the cancer that he had battled for nearly all of his 20 months of life. In this second part story, the Millwards share how they plan to keep their son's memory alive. Read the first story here.
By Kristen Hains
Special to the Herald
Though Joey Millward was only 20-months old when he passed away, he had become quite a teacher.
A toddler who giggled his way through chemotherapy and smiled in the face of repeated surgeries, his parents hope to keep that spirit alive.
"We learned more about life in 20 months than we'll probably learn the rest of our lives," Emily Millward said of her son. "We thank Joey for that ... it's bittersweet... he just made the most of every moment."
Making the most of every moment is a lesson that Joe and Emily Millward hope they can share with other families battling cancer. In the days following Joey's May 6 passing, both Joe and Emily began contemplating ways to keep Joey's memory alive, while putting into action the lessons they learned from their son and his illness.
After two years of traveling back and forth to DeVos Children's Hospital in Grand Rapids, the couple suddenly found themselves with no reason to go there. Knowing they weren't willing to lose their connection to DeVos, and knowing that they wanted to keep little Joey's memory alive, Joe and Emily came up with the idea of Little Joey's Wish Foundation.
"DeVos was our second home," Emily Millward said. "We saw them more than we saw our family. We knew we couldn't just sit on our hands. We had to take on a role."
That role would include finding ways to help other families who were now on the same path that they had traveled.
"With Little Joey's Wish Foundation, our main purpose is to bring some small peace and comfort to families going through cancer," she said. "(When you're watching your child battle cancer), it's not a very peaceful time emotionally, and physically, it can definitely be anything but peaceful."
Following Joey's passing, the Millwards immediately established an account at Huntington Bank which would accept memorial donations to Little Joey's Wish Foundation. An anonymous donor matched all monies given in the month following Joey's death.
"We just wanted to help and give back in any way that we can," she said. "And also create a legacy for Joey that he wouldn't be forgotten either."
One thing that the Millwards were especially grateful for during Joey's illness was the fact that Joe's job as a general contractor allowed him the flexibility to take his work with him to the hospital. This allowed them to stay together as a family throughout Joey's treatments. It's something Emily Millward doesn't take for granted.
"We know families who the grandparents are now taking the child to DeVos for treatment because Mom and Dad both have to work," she said. "That would be so awful."
Over Labor Day weekend, the Millwards had their first opportunity to travel back to DeVos and began their quest of giving back.
"We had so much fun," she said. "I've never had so much fun. We went and bought toys for the children at DeVos, specifically for the Child Life Specialists who help these kids."
Millward said the one thing they now treasure most is their video footage and photo collections of Joey. One of their first priorities is to provide digital cameras to families battling cancer, in order to allow them to capture as many moments as possible. They gave away four cameras over the Labor Day weekend.
They also purchased numerous other items to be given to families who need them. Items like digital thermometers, which are so crucial to children when their counts are low, were purchased so that families who are on "fever watch" can detect a fever at the onset and potentially prevent dangerous infections.
Another need they helped to fill was with cell phones. "The first bill to not get paid is a cell phone bill," she said. "Going through treatments, communications with family members and friends is so important."
The prepaid Trac Phones that the Millwards purchased will be given to families who may have lost their cell phones.
The couple also purchased gas cards. "The one thing that we were surprised to know is that there are many, many families who cannot even afford the gas to get home."
Down the road, the Millwards are looking to sponsor families at Thanksgiving and Christmas time. They remember all too well the two Christmases they spent at DeVos and the joy that having a few presents to open would bring to the hospital.
And their dreams for Little Joey's Wish Foundation don't stop there. "One thing that we really want to do, we're just waiting to do, is to send a family to Disney."
Millward said the Make-A-Wish Foundation grants wishes only to children ages 2 1/2 -18 years old, but as they learned, diseases like cancer strike all ages.
"We had the opportunity to go on a family vacation, but cancer treatments but a kibosh on it," she said. "We would have loved a family vacation, even for a weekend."
They hope to at least give families some time away from the hospital, even if it's just getting away nearby. "That family time is so important," she said.
While they look forward to sending a family to Disney, Millward said they also know that sometimes, due to the severity of the illness or the need for constant treatment, more realistic trips might be a weekend at the Great Wolf Lodge or a weekend at the Amway Grand (which still allows families to get away without being too far away from the hospital).
In the future the Millwards are looking to hold benefit dinners and other fundraisers to allow Little Joey's Wish Foundation to continue giving peace to families battling cancer.
"We hope that through Little Joey's Wish Foundation, Joey can continue to impact lives ... even though he's not here with us," she said. "We long for the day when we can be with him again, that's for sure."
Joe and Emily Millward are currently in the process of securing 501(c)(3) status for Little Joey's Wish Foundation, which will give them official recognition as a nonprofit organization. Those wishing to give to the foundation can send donations to Huntington National Bank, Att: Jana O'Brien, P.O. Box 1220, Traverse City, MI 49685