November 9, 2005
Hunting for a good jury duty excuse
By
Herald Editor
Opening day of deer season is only 144 hours away but I'm closer to a legal suit than a blaze orange one.
Unlike the past 22 years, this November 15 might find me contemplating the scope of habeas corpus ad sub ji ci en dum instead of steadying the cross hairs atop a 30.06. My "dear prospective juror" letter contains the wrong homonym this time of year. Suffice it to say that if thoughts could put you in contempt of court, I'd be facing more jail time than Judith Miller.
Unfortunately, a lawyer friend assured me that jury duty on November 15 is not illegal in the state of Michigan. Just the same, I'm contemplating a class action lawsuit with Geoffrey Fieger on retainer. Or at least calling Lee free.
Now I realize that jury duty falls under the category of civic obligation. With this in mind, I have dutifully filled out pre-trial questionnaires on at least five separate occasions. However, I've always been given the peremptory boot; my occupation probably the underlining reason behind this no reason required legal challenge. Although I suspect many a lawyer - and a few judges - would like to bring new meaning to hung jury and journalist.
While trial by jury dates back to the Sixth Amendment, so does shirking jury duty. I'm sure the Library of Congress contains a letter written in 1791 by a Joe Public, Esq full of doths, thees and excuses. In fact, over the course of history, no one has endured more excuses than judges. That is except junior high school gym teachers.
So in that time-honored tradition - getting out of jury duty not gym class - I wrote my first plea letter last month. A literary tome it was not, but I did invoke the word implore. After all, U2 concert tickets were on the line. A few days later the court clerk told me that the judge read my letter; although she didn't say if he burst out laughing while doing so. In the end it was a moot appeal, the trial had "gone away" before reaching the courtroom.
I was relieved, though a bit perplexed by her choice of words. They conjured up film noir images of swimming in Grand Traverse Bay with cement shoes.
Of course I made a point of closing my letter with the words "it is with the utmost sincerity that I ask to serve on any other occasion." Who knew that occasion would fall on November 15. I guess my name was drawn from the shallow end of the jury pool.
Ironically, my inquisitive mind and the rest of me would like to spend time in the jury box. After all, I've never been a court beat reporter, so my notion of how the system works is limited. Although I have watched "Anatomy of a Murder," "12 Angry Men," and even a few "Matlock" reruns. However, I did partake in the O.J. trial, so my judgment might be called into question.
Selfishly, I am hoping to avoid my court room drama of missing the first day of deer season in two decades.
If the trial doesn't go away, I will fulfill my civic obligation and report for jury duty next Tuesday. Of course there is always voir dire, but an inability to grasp French doesn't affect speaking the truth. Which is why I'll show up for my day in court with a Windsor knot tie and blaze orange suit.
Grand Traverse Herald editor Garret Leiva can be reached at 933-1416 or email gleiva@gtherald.com