February 2, 2005

Dance class keeps dad on his toes

By
Herald Editor

      Two year olds keep you on your toes. However, I'm not sure pointe shoes come in men's 10 wide.
      It has been said that parents are the hardship of a child's life. I guess that's why this 34-year-old father is taking up ballet; nothing like creating emotional scars at an early age. At least tutus are not involved - yet.
      Being a stay-at-home dad three days a week, I've deep-six diapers, cut the crust off PB&J's, and made the ultimate sacrifice: sing along with Barney. Last week, however, the spectacle Ella calls daddy became public. Guess who was the lone XY chromosome in the "Mommy and Me" dance class?
      My wife swears she didn't enroll us in said dance class. She also said she enjoys Three Stooges movies with a straight face, too.
      Thankfully, being a writer, self-deprecation is my strongest character flaw. So I twirled right along with the other "Wheels on the Bus." I skipped. I jumped. I cavorted or some other French ballet term. I even let Ella try a few moves.
      Billed as "creative movement," the dance class is a half-hour of coloring outside the lines. There are a few simple instructions, but no head mistress drilling kids in Huggies about fifth position. Instead, these bantam ballerinas rode pretend ponies around the room. Of course, Ella galloped like she was ropin' doggies at the rodeo.
      Taking the whole "Mommy and Me" in stride comes from an ability to think on my feet - and also dance on them.
      Suffice it to say I'm not Fred Astaire incarnate or Gene Gene the Dancing Machine either. I like to think of my style as James Brown meets David Byrne with a little Fonzie for good measure. Even in those dark days of junior high school, I'd break dance with the best of them - which wasn't saying much at Hale High. However, slow dancing with a girl to "Stairway to Heaven" felt like purgatory when your Right Guard up and left hours ago.
      I even "danced" in a musical theater production during college - dressed as a Canadian Mounty no less. What can I say, we all experiment in college.
      While Ella seems to enjoy her dance class, pretty soon they'll start separating the wheat from the chaff. Which means us 'mommies' will watch from behind the plate glass. It's probably just as well, pointe shoes would acerbate my bunions.
      Grand Traverse Herald editor Garret Leiva can be reached at 933-1416 or e-mail gleiva@gtherald.com