May 12, 2004
Little one good for bad behaviors
By
Herald Editor
Fatherhood has a way of making you cognizant of the little things in life - those of the four-letter and six-legged variety.
I swear that I am not a profane person. However, good football games and bad drivers foul up my language. Wreck-it-yourself projects are also plagued with the occasional cuss word; especially the proverbial standard round peg and metric hole.
Now whoever said watching television is a passive experience never sat on the couch at our house. Far from an armchair quarterback, I follow my team up and down the field - literally. If it is fourth and inches, I'm mere millimeters from the TV screen. Then there is the yelling - players, coaches, refs, no one is safe from my verbal onslaught.
Then along came a mute button named Ella.
Now when the Lions fumble the ball on the goal line, I silently chagrin and bear it. Instead of blurting out grammatically incorrect obscenities, I sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Overpaid Star." No more childish conniptions - specifically from the one in the living room not wearing Huggies.
Driving is another subject matter that makes me veer into vulgarities. My attitude is less road rage and more avenue annoyance. However, when I merge on to the Mad Max Beyond Thunder Dome code of the expressway, Mr. Nice Guy takes a backseat. My defensive driving turns offensive in nature and I am not above vindictive horn honking and sardonic hand gestures.
Then along came a driving force named Ella.
Now when Reggie Van Dough cuts me off with his Hummer of a backside, I curb my tongue. Either that or I put the minivan on cruise control and mumble another verse of the Wheels on the Bus.
Another little thing that fatherhood has greatly changed is my tolerance of insects. Ants, flies, aphids, beetles - they all bugged me. I didn't think twice about squashing a Lepidoptera with my bare hands. Ladybug or queen bee, my swatting instinct gave no quarter to gender or gentry.
Then along came a 26 pound entomologist named Ella.
Now instead of getting the boot - or a face-full of rolled up newspaper - insects are temporary house guests. After our two-year-old checks them over, I make sure they check out - permanently. Although under her watchful eye, I often practice a more humane catch and release method. That is if I don't catch them too hard, then the release resembles a flick usually reserved for nose goblins.
Often in life, it is the little things that take on great meaning - those of the two-legged, size five Elmo shoe variety.
Grand Traverse Herald editor Garret Leiva can be reached at 933-1416 or e-mail gleiva@gtherald.com