May 1, 2002
Seminar teaches happy thoughts
Dr. Greg Holmes outlines steps to pursue happiness
By Carol South
Herald contributing writer
"I believe the very pursuit of life is the pursuit of happiness."
Clinical psychologist Dr. Greg Holmes outlined the fundamental right of human beings to be happy Thursday evening at his talk entitled "How to be Happy." Sponsored by Munson Medical Center's Integrative Medicine Program, the talk drew more than 250 attendees to the Milliken Auditorium, who listened intently to his words.
Holmes pointed to Thomas Jefferson's writing in the Declaration of Independence, which said that people had unalienable rights: "_that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness." He noted that this country's Founding Fathers believed that happiness was such an important thing that it transcended individual's lives.
"Jefferson's original draft called Happiness a sacred truth," he added.
This message of happiness is as relevant and important today because happiness combats the three poisons of the mind: ignorance, greed and hatred.
"Unhappiness is the basis of hatred and intolerance," said Holmes, who defined happiness as well being and contentment. "Think of your own lives, when you feel unhappy that will spread to the rest of the world."
Holmes asserted that people have not been taught to value or recognize happiness and face many distractions from pursuing it. Even mental health professionals do not study happiness during their training or learn how to promote it.
"I find that shocking and amazing that we don't get trained in how to help people be happy," he said. "Psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers - none of us have ever had a class on happiness."
Holmes outlined common cultural myths about happiness, including that it is selfish to want to be happy, more money or things will make you happy and that a different relationship, job, house, and so on will make you happy. These myths take hold starting at a young age, fostered by pervasive advertising that promises happiness through buying things and constant societal messages of looking outside oneself for happiness.
"The realization comes that happiness has nothing to do with the external or material world," said Holmes, quoting Plato that, "Poverty is not absence of goods but the overabundance of desire."
Holmes noted that people fritter away their lives in pursuit of these myths, never realizing they are sacrificing their happiness, and often that of their families, in the process.
"It is so powerful when you realize that time is so much more valuable than money," Holmes said. "When you do, your life will be transformed. I guarantee you will run out of time and that won't be fun."
The final myth about happiness is a more modern one: that medications will make you happy.
Holmes said that when people acquire all the external trappings of happiness and still are unhappy, they begin to think something is wrong with them. They wonder if their hormones or brain chemistry are unbalanced since, after all, they should be happy. Many times, these people turn to the medical community and receive prescriptions for mood-altering drugs.
While Holmes does not discount those who truly need medication, he is concerned at the spiraling reliance on medication to treat anxiety and depression, especially among children.
"People are hungry and they need something, but it is not medications," he said.
Holmes asserted that happiness exists in everyone already and that people had everything they need to be happy right now, they just don't know it.
He outlined the steps to being happy: make a commitment to happiness, have a spiritual framework or belief system, find and live your truth, control and minimize the ego, live in the present moment and practice gratitude.
Holmes also said that happiness also entails learning to deal with loss and disappointment, which everyone will face many times during their lives.
"Being happy has to include some idea of how to face and understand suffering," he said. "Suffering is a part of our lives."
Mary Moran Gross found Holmes' messages important and timely, especially when he discussed not relying on outside forces such as other people or medication for happiness.
"The real truth is unless we are doing the basics of life, - taking care of ourselves, looking for inner spiritualism - we're not going to be happy," said the Traverse City resident. "The biggest thing I was really happy to hear about was that he was clued in to the fact that there are too many drugs being distributed and the incidences of children being put on medication is way out there."