September 26, 2001
Barber shares tragic tale
Drunk driving claims life of young brother
By Carol South
Herald contributing writer
With 550 high school students packed into the bleachers of Traverse City Central High School, you could hear a pin drop.
As they listened to Jason Barber Monday afternoon, they collectively held their breath. Barber was there to give a presentation on drinking and underage drinking, but his personal story was almost beyond comprehension.
First he shared the stories and pictures of two young women who died together when a drunk driver hit them at high speeds.
Then he held up cherished picture of himself and his brother, Aaron, 15 when he died. Barber said it had been taken ten days before the accident that killed Aaron and another person - a drunk driving accident. With a pause, he continued.
"Aaron was killed by a drunk driver and I am that person," Barber said.
A weekend of partying, with his adoring little brother tagging along ended with Barber, drunk, and a friend, also drunk, drag racing down a winding mountain road. Trying to pass another vehicle, Barber lost control and his truck flipped and rolled, leaving the road at speeds exceeding 95 miles per hour.
Aaron was thrown from the truck and died instantly.
Barber was suicidal with grief and guilt; his immediate reaction was to end his life but a friend at the scene stopped him. Two caring uncles later noticed his state of mind at his brother's wake, held the day Barber was released from the hospital. They took him back to the hospital, this time to the psychiatric ward.
There, he found the beginnings of hope for surviving this tragedy: a sobriety program.
That program also led him to accept his responsibility for what had happened, to live and share his story with teens around the country. He hopes that his story, plus the stories he shares of others who died so needlessly, will prevent other families from being shattered, other lives from being destroyed.
If so, maybe his brother will not have died in vain.
"Drunk driving is not an accident, it is a choice," he told the students. "Drunk drivers take their life, the lives of everybody who loves them and their passenger's lives in their own hands. It is a very selfish choice, the kind of choice that makes this happen."
Barber served more than three years in prison and after his release went back to college. Earning a degree in human services, with an emphasis on drug and alcohol counseling, he has spent the past three years traveling the country to share his story.
"I hope that after this you guys will be able to learn from my mistakes," said Barber, a resident of Phelan, Calif.
The impact was seen in the quiet students filing out after his talk, no horseplay, in the students coming up to shake his hand and say a few words.
"He is one of the bravest people I know to be able to talk about all his mistakes so we can learn from them," said Ashley Monaghan, a 10th grade student at Central High School.
Barber also spoke to students at West High School in the morning, reaching more than 1,000 students in all Monday. Anheuser Busch wholesalers nationwide sponsor Barber's talks; local distributor H. Cox and Sons brought Barber to the area on Monday.
"We want to update students on drunk driving awareness issues," said Mark Ribel, marketing director of H. Cox and Sons, the sponsor of the event. "We want to prevent underage drinking and driving as well."
Barber finished his presentation with a strong exhortation for every student to take responsibility for themselves, their friends and anyone they may see planning to drive while impaired. Teachers and counselors handed out a contract for them to take home and sign with their parents, pledging not to drink and drive.
"Drunk driving is an issue with no middle ground, if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem," he said. "These people are driving in your community, on your streets, threatening your loved ones, neighbors and friends. If you are too afraid to speak out about the right thing, that's weak."