June 13, 2001

Summer break: Savory the moment

By GARRET LEIVA
Herald editor
       In the immortal words of Alice Cooper, school is indeed out for the summer. Today, children throughout Traverse City can stop counting the days, hours and nanoseconds. For kids, the wait is over. For parents, in the words of The Carpenters: it's only just begun.
      Ah, summer break. No more #2 pencils, no more Algebra books, no more teacher's dirty looks - being freed from a classroom of eighth-graders would improve anyone's complexion. Summer vacation, 83 days of childhood unfettered by the constraints of homework, hot lunch trays and having to raise your hand before going to the bathroom.
      Myself, it took roughly two weeks before uttering the inevitable "I'm bored."
      Unfortunately, most kids are like dogs faced with the dilemma of an open bag of Purina. Instead of savoring, they inhale the maximum amount in the minimum time. I was no exception, which is why I had difficulty swallowing the idea of literally taking a break. That and I rarely took time to chew; even food for thought.
      Moments after stepping off bus 75-3, my summer began. Within days, the Detroit Tigers had won the World Series, Evel Knievel cleared Snake River Canyon on his banana seat single-speed, and a certain 8-year-old boy had saved planet Earth - again. The proceeding chapters of my summer break included "digging for buried treasure in the backyard ... before dad gets home," "taking apart intricate mechanisms ... before dad gets home" and "shoving all the evidence under the bed ... before dad gets home."
      Unfortunately, my summer break read like Cliff Notes instead of a novel.
      Of course, there was always one summer vacation staple; the sleep over. Sometimes it was giggle-about-dirty-Mad-Lib-verbs-until-we get-in-trouble late nights at Shaun's house, sugar cereal breakfasts at cousin Ryan's or vowing to stay up and watch Saturday Night Live only to have Matt fall asleep before the nightly news - again.
      Hosting the sleep over did have one distinct home field advantage: you knew exactly where the bathroom door was at five o'clock in the morning.
      Occasionally, summer break meant the entire family would pack up the 1970s happy-face yellow Samsonite luggage, break out the 8-track tapes, and hit the open road. Growing up in the shadow of New York City, however, my father was not inclined to explore the Great Outdoors. In fact, roughing it meant staying in a hotel with a 'free color television' neon sign.
      Then, just about the time I rediscovered the true bliss of childhood, summer vacation was over. I went from putting together B-52 model planes to modeling Tuff Skin jeans for my mother and the sales clerk at JcPenny. It was back to pencils, books and teacher's "I can't believe we're starting classes before Labor Day" looks.
      Comic strip character Calvin once complained to his pet tiger, Hobbes that his summer vacation was over and there was nothing ahead but "toil and drudgery for a whole year." To which Hobbes reminded his human counterpart that he spent half the summer complaining how bored he was. Calvin's response: he must have been delirious from having so much fun.
      Driving into work this morning, I'm sure I'll tune into some radio station playing a certain selection from Mr. Alice Cooper. If you don't catch it today, you still have 83 days left to listen. Of course, if you're counting down summer vacation already you must be delirious from all the fun ahead or an optimistic Carpenter's fan.
      Grand Traverse Herald editor Garret Leiva can be reached at 933-1416 or e-mail gleiva@gtherald.com.