December 12, 2001
Tea time teaches manners, kindness
Pinky fingers extended at High Tea for Kids workshop
By Carol South
Herald contributing writer
Sit up straight, centered in your chair, knees together.
Firmly grasp the teacup, pinky finger extended and pointing downward.
Sip daintily and always, always, be gracious.
The backbone of tea etiquette, these admonitions will carry anyone, any age, through any tea experience, said Dore Shaw, owner of Le Fleur Mill in Traverse City. Shaw was at Horizon Books Saturday morning presenting a High Tea for Kids workshop to five children and three mothers.
Determined to spread the word about the enchantment of sharing tea, Shaw scheduled the workshop before the holidays to give children a manners boost before family gatherings.
Tea, she declared, is a great way to teach about life.
"It is important to reach a child because there is so much they can learn from tea," she said. "Not just manners or etiquette; all those things are worthless if you don't have friends to share them with, if you don't know how to be gracious. Kindness always prevails."
The ritual of tea captivated her young audience.
"This was fun, I learned how to hold my hand right, it feels more sophisticated this way," said Anne Sterrett, 8, who attended the High Tea for Kids workshop with her mother, Sharon.
The proud owner of two bone china tea sets, one from each grandmother, Sterrett loves tea parties.
"I have been doing tea parties with my aunt and cousin since I was three," she noted.
Martha Long attended the tea with her two daughters, Andrea, 7, and Stephanie, 4. While her younger daughter was reluctant to participate at first - until Shaw captured her imagination by telling her that bubbles in tea signify good luck - Long knows her girls took away some lasting memories.
"I anticipate that we'll be seeing a lot more tea parties in the basement after this," she said.
Shaw brought a holiday blend herbal tea and holiday cookies for everyone to share. She also brought along some of her own antique china to use during the workshop.
While it may seem counterintuitive, Shaw told participants to dip their cookies in their tea so crumbs would not fly everywhere with each bite. If a piece of cookie broke off into the tea, she said to daintily fish it out with a spoon, drawing as little attention to the act as possible.
While the moms sat at a nearby table, sipping and relaxing and making new friends, Shaw focused on the children. She believes the information about etiquette is particularly important for young people, especially girls.
"Tea is good because it is good for young girls to learn what to expect when they are young ladies on a date with a gentleman," she said.
Sharing the romance and enchantment of tea is a mission for Shaw, who opened Le Fleur Mill earlier this year. She recently completed a book on tea, titled "Tea at Le Fleur Mill," where she discusses the enchantment and philosophy of tea.
Noting that people are reevaluating their priorities and staying home more after the terrorist attacks of September 11, Shaw added that tea fits the bill for a slower, more connected way of life.
"We all crave a little grace in our lives," she said. "Tea gatherings can be large, spontaneous or impromptu but they are always elegant. I think we crave that, that it comes naturally."
Indeed, unlike coffee, which people drink as a deliberate energy pick-up, tea cannot be consumed on the run.
"Tea cannot be gulped, it forces you to slow down," said Shaw, noting that, after water, tea was the most consumed beverage in the world. "The whole point of tea is that you should sip. That is why it is so enchanting."