August 8, 2001
Friendship best medicine for Alzheimer's
Best Friends model of care for disease examined at Traverse City conference
By Carol South
Herald contributing writer
As Jean Peters' mother entered the later stages of Alzheimer's disease, she could no longer recognize her daughter as her daughter. An upsetting and sad passage, Peters decided to accept what was happening to her mother and try to find a way to reach her.
"I began calling her Jeanette because she wouldn't answer to 'Ma' anymore," said Peters, a Traverse City resident who works at the Wexford Council on Aging. "She was diagnosed for seven years before she died and had symptoms for probably four years before that."
By calling her mother by her name, Peters could still reach her and talk to her, taking on a role of friend instead of daughter.
Being a friend to a person with Alzheimer's is a key to both improved caregiving and quality of life, said Virginia Bell, an internationally recognized speaker, author and caregiver on Alzheimer's disease.
Bell described what she calls the Best Friends model of care at an all-day conference for health care professionals, administrators and family members of people with Alzheimer's disease. More than 110 people attended the conference, which was sponsored by the Catholic Human Services, using a Caregiver Education Grant from the Michigan Department of Community Health.
"What people with Alzheimer's need most is a friend, a best friend," said Bell, who at 79 is a one-woman dynamo who captivated the audience with her energy, humor and enthusiasm for helping others. "Friendship is a universal concept, easy to understand and easy to teach."
Bell described how situations like the one experienced by Jean Peters were a recast relationship. Bell began building her idea of a Best Friends model of care from own life while helping care for her father who had Alzheimer's disease.
"My father forgot that I was his daughter, but when he saw me coming he'd say, 'Here comes the funny one,'" Bell said, who returned to school for her master's degree in Social Work at the age of 60. "I took that as a compliment, because I would always sing and dance for them, and I can't really do either."
Bell described how being a friend to a person with Alzheimer's means learning about their life - everything from their birthplace and young years to children, grandchildren and where they lived and worked - as a way to reach them. She said that documenting these 'Life Stories' is key to reaching the person with Alzheimer's disease and giving them a sense of dignity and that they still are people.
She noted that so often people, even family members, do not know how to talk to a person whose memory is so impaired. Carrying on a conversation from scratch in that situation is very difficult because the Alzheimer's patient may not respond to questions and does not have the initiative to carry their end of the conversation.
Family, caregivers and friends should not give up, however.
"People with Alzheimer's long to communicate," Bell said. "They may not be able to come up with something from scratch but will recognize something if told."
"It is interesting how much information these people will give you once you get them started, one piece will remind them of something else."
Even professional caregivers can recast their relationships from 'doer' to friend, which can vastly improve care, cooperation and communication. Instead of having an agenda of things to get done, a caregiver can spend time being a friend using information from the person with Alzheimer's Life Story and then move on to the tasks.
"Task-oriented care can cause problems," Bell said. "People with Alzheimer's do not like having a supervisor, they don't like the management bit. They want equality."
The information in Bell's presentation struck home with Nancy VanderLinde of Frankfort. VanderLinde came to the conference to learn more because she has a family member in the early stages of the disease.
"The ideas I heard today are absolutely essential," she said. "I wish that more family members could be a part of this."