April 25, 2001

Mr. Half-Empty vs. Mr. Half-Full

By GARRET LEIVA
Herald editor
       Personally, whether the glass is half-empty or half-full depends on what is inside.
      I've always viewed myself as an eternal optimist joined at the hip to a sardonic realist. Since I was old enough to comprehend the word self, certain areas of life call forth this inner struggle between Mr. Half-Empty and Mr. Half-Full.
      Philosopher Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz believed in a doctrine that the existing world is the best possible. This practice of looking on the bright side of things is considered optimistic. If you have the tendency to expect misfortune or the worst outcome in any circumstance you're pessimistic - or a Detroit Lions fan.
      For centuries, poets and philosophers have debated these two schools of thought. Ambrose Bierce called optimism "the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly." Warren Goldberg referred to a pessimist as "one who makes the worst out of the best."
      When it comes to my own life, Mr. Half-Full could show his shining face or Mr. Half-Empty might rear his ugly head. I'm never sure who will roll out of bed - although if it's on the wrong side, things usually get ugly. If I had to categorize, however, there are six areas that resemble a Luke Skywalker/Darth Vader Death Star duel - sans cool special effects.
      - Work
      Pessimist: Being employed as a journalist, my job description requires a bachelor's degree in skepticism . My chosen profession is also widely credited with reporting on the 99.5 percent of what is wrong with the world. This is why old newspaper writers don't die, they just become curmudgeonly syndicated columnists.
      Optimist: However, I have seen "All the President's Men" three times; including a Spanish subtitle version.
      - Do-it-yourself
      Optimist: Anyone who voluntarily picks up a wrench, hammer or screw driver to fix or build an inanimate object is an optimist- or a fool. I've lived (and injured myself) by the machismo motto: I'll try anything once. This goes for rebuilding a car engine, putting in electrical sockets, or installing a storm door. My wife says I'm an eternal optimist because I believe there is no such thing as mistakes only a need for more duct tape.
      Pessimist: With a garage full of adequate tools and a head full of inadequate knowledge, do-it-yourself often becomes wreck-it-yourself. "Measure once and cut twice" leads to the dreaded words: professional help. And although ignorance is bliss it can't mend broken boards or thumbs.
      However, nagging doubts of do-it-yourself ability are often squashed by one thing: a written estimate. Perhaps I'm not an optimist or a pessimist, only a cheapskate.
      - Sports
      Pessimist: I grew up rooting for the Detroit Lions, Atlanta Falcons and the Seattle Seahawks; some of the worst National Football League teams of the 1980s. I'm also keeping a 1984 Detroit Tigers World Series program because of its long-range rarity. I even have a Detroit Pistons "Bad Boys" NBA championship T-shirt in my closet [see above reason].
      Optimist: I still watch the Lions after Thanksgiving Day. I honestly wonder if there are errors in the baseball box scores (other than Detroit fielding ones). I find myself saying things like "good training camp" and "first-round draft pick."
      - Weather
      Pessimist: I don't wear boots when the meteorologists call for chance of snow.
      Pessimist: I wear boots when the meteorologists call for clear conditions.
      - Worst case scenarios
      Optimist: Thankfully, I have no first-hand experience with floods, tornadoes, airplane crashes or bear attacks. Given this fact, I'm confident I wouldn't end up like Shelly Winters in the "Poseidon Adventure."
      Pessimist: While bookstore browsing last week, I thumbed through a copy of "The Worst Case Scenario Handbook." I even contemplated asking for a copy as a birthday gift.
      Optimist: I decided I could wait until "The Worst Case Scenario Handbook" comes out in paperback.
      Pessimist: Paperbacks rarely slow charging grizzlies. Neither do hardcopies.
      - Human nature/life
      Pessimist: I often lock the front door before going out to the mailbox (my father grew up in New York).
      Optimist: I roll out of bed every morning (my grandfather is a farmer).
      Sometimes, I catch myself looking both ways before crossing downtown Front Street. Does this make me a pessimist or merely a realist? Mr. Half-Empty or Mr. Half-Full? I guess it depends on what is inside the glass or floating on the bottom.
      Grand Traverse Herald editor Garret Leiva can be reached at 933-1416 or gleiva@gtherald.com