October 11, 2000

Coat chaos unravels calm demeanor

By GARRET LEIVA
Herald editor
 When it comes to structure vs. anarchy I can exist in a world of chaos- although utter, complete and total disorder can be a drag.
      Deadlines can loom, best laid plans can fall apart, good intentions can go bad, but like clich‚s, life can be weathered. Coats, however, can unravel my easy-going-laid-back-Mr.-Go-With-The-Flow existence. Not just coats, mind you, but all forms of outerwear: jackets, vests, pullovers, Windbreakers. Each having their allotted moment in the sun - or their lack of- or rightful place in the hall closet.
      Call me a simpleton, but I believe a fall coat should be worn in the fall. Living in northern Michigan, however, such dogma is easier espoused than done. It is no wonder why now is the time of our winter jacket discontent.
      It seems that every year fall starts out with such crisp wind promise. October brings visions of staining my barn jacket with warm apple cider and piles of chlorophyll-free leaves dance in my head. Instead, a rain/sleet amalgamate brings the Gorton fisherman slicker out of the mudroom closet. Worse yet, I succumb to dusting off the winter coat's Gortex liner so I can walk out to the mailbox. It all adds up to unseasonable weather that leaves the fall coat out of the cold and in the closet.
      Now I consider myself a man for all seasons; given the appropriate outerwear.
      Spring means unearthing the Day-Glo yellow Windbreaker from beneath the hiking boots. Summer: no jacket required. Fall takes turns between barn jacket, Michelin Man fleece pullover or the Adrian College football jacket a few grease stains away from banishment to the garage. Winter is simply layer after layer.
      Fall has long been that transitional season between Keds and moon boots. A time of year when you could still run around the playground without a coat - long as the recess aide didn't spot you. The fleeting days of swinging from the monkeybars unencumbered by a heavy- weight down-filled jacket.
      Fall also meant a reprieve from the inevitable zipper choo-choo train track derailment; trapping you inside the sweaty confines of a Ski-Doo snowmobile suit. No wonder I begrudgingly hung up my jean jacket in the twilight of each fall.
      Perhaps it was latent childhood zipper fears that sent chills down my spine during last week's winter-like weather. More likely it was the freezing rain and snow soaking into my coat-less skin. Thankful, the next few days promise pristine fall weather. Perhaps I'll get those apple cider stains after all.
      Given the fantastic fall forecast, I might ignore looming deadlines and good intentions gone bad and head out for a swing on the monkeybars. After all, it's one small way to weather life's clich‚s and chaos. Choosing the right coat, however, will be a big problem.
      Grand Traverse Herald editor Garret Leiva can be reached at 933-1416 or e-mail at gleiva@gtherald.com.