November 8, 2000

Demby overcomes disabilities, doubts

Bill Demby closing speaker at rehabilitation conference

By Carol South
Herald contributing writer
       "Life is a game, the only way to win is to play."
      This hard-won philosophy serves Bill Demby day in and day out as the double amputee counsels and motivates disabled people of all ages.
      It's a mantra he uses to repudiate nay sayers of all stripes: the high school counselor who told him he was not college material (he was) or anyone who believes people with disabilities cannot play sports. From wheelchair marathons to ski instructor for the handicapped to shooting hoops, Demby continues to play the game, believing that just being on the court makes him a winner.
      A 1987 commercial for DuPont featured Demby playing basketball on his two artificial legs, smashing assumptions with every step.
      "There are many people in life you will meet who will try to pull you down," said Demby, a resident of Mitchellsville, Md. "Ignore those people."
      Sharing his life story, Bill Demby was the closing speaker at the Michigan Rehabilitative Conference, held Wednesday through Friday at the Grand Traverse Resort and Spa. Demby's talk closed two days of sessions on aspects of working with disabled people.
      Conference topics included issues of employment, transportation, health care and legal issues. The annual conference also featured 120 booths of products and services, allowing these rehabilitation professionals to keep up to date on the latest technologies for people with disabilities.
      "I went to a new session on the Ticket to Work program passed last year by Congress," said Steve Perdue, chief executive officer of GTP Industries in Traverse City. "This law is an opportunity to remove employment barriers for disabled people who want to work. They can get a job and not lose Medicaid or face spend downs."
      Perdue brought four other GTP employees to the conference. They were some of the 600 workers in the rehabilitation field from around the state who listened with rapt attention as Demby spoke Thursday evening.
      While still a teenager serving in Vietnam, Bill Demby lost both his legs below the knee when the truck he was driving was hit by a rocket. As he lay there bleeding, his life flashed before his eyes. He thought of his great love of basketball, a game that had kept him in high school while growing up in a rough neighborhood in Washington, D.C. He asked, 'Why me?' before a calm came over him and the pain faded.
      That brief calm preceded a stormy few years as Demby returned for rehabilitation at Walter Reed Army Hospital near Washington, D.C. Just 19, his year of physical healing there was punctuated by self-pity for his lost limbs and former life. A counselor burst that bubble for him one day.
      "He said, 'You're not in bad shape, you're just an amputee. Go out on the ward if you think you're in bad shape," Demby recalled. "At that moment I thanked my God to be just an amputee."
      Even with this revelation, Demby struggled with drugs and alcohol after his release from the hospital. He felt caught in old patterns from his youth, plus the stigma that Vietnam vets were unstable addicts who were like bombs waiting to go off. With the help of a close friend and his mother, he began putting a life together, eventually moving to Maryland and starting college.
      Despite his Army training to never leave anyone behind, Demby had to abandon lifelong friends who undermined his resolve to stay sober, attend college and make something of himself. This was a very difficult decision for him and, decades later, he is looking for these friends to help. He believes that now he is strong enough to help them.
      "I beat the odds because I wanted something different," he said. "For me, sports was the thing that turned me around. Slowly, day by day, I started getting off drugs and alcohol."
      Now a businessman and part-time counselor with the Howard County disAbility Awareness Project, Demby told conference attendees that their work made the difference to people with disabilities every day.
      "You are the ones who are going to make a difference in people's lives," Demby said. "After losing my legs, I thought my life was over, but there were people who helped me along the way."