May 3, 2000
Do-it-yourself not about doing it right
By Garret Leiva
This weekend will find me stumbling up the basement stairs after tripping the main breaker on the fuse box and inevitably forgetting the flashlight on the kitchen table. For a second I might question this self-imposed blackout, then a 100 watt Halogen will go off in my head and I'll remember: my father-in-law is in town.
Yes, this weekend can be summed up in three little hyphenated words capable of bringing the strongest man to tears: do-it-yourself. Especially if he pounds his thumbnail instead of a penny nail.
Living Thoreau's words of self-reliance and demonstrating the conglomerated handyman skills of Bob Villa and "Red Green," my father-in-law carries the do-it-yourself banner high; even if it is held together with a few rolls of Duct Tape. Simply put, he is my hero. Besides, I wouldn't let any Tom, Dick or Jack-of-all-trades run 14 gauge wire for outlets in my garage. No, that job would be left to Al.
While I am but a neophyte when it comes to the nuances of do-it-yourself- or "wreck-it-yourself" - Dad Charette has 28 years under his tool belt. Of course, his tutelage has been under the callused hands of a difficult task master: a 140-year-old, eight bedroom farm house. Three decades later and the apprenticeship continues with frozen water pipes and crooked door frames.
Despite endless years of countless do-it-yourself projects, my father-in-law gleefully volunteers to help out around our house. He offers up assistance partly because our door frames are only a few bubbles off from level. More importantly, however, if things break, explode, melt, collapse, demolish, shatter or general go wrong, it's not his house. This coming from a man who started his Volkswagen van by wiring the ignition to a doorbell.
Now there are those that actually hire a "professional" for repair, remodeling and rebuilding projects. These are the same people who stop to ask for directions at the gas station. Do-it-yourself is about pride, often times too much. It is also about the handyman's favorite adjective: cheaper.
Delusions of saved dollars and good intentions are the blueprints behind many a do-it-yourself project. Sure it might cost a grand more than the original "professional" estimate to have your handiwork repaired, but if we didn't make mistakes how could we possibly learn from them.
Of course, the real reason many people decide to go ahead and do-it-themselves is to justify the necessity of a 6.5 amp heavy duty reciprocating saw. Do-it-yourself projects have a magical way of turning power tool wants into needs. "In fact, I do need a 6.5 hp, 80 gallon, 11.9 CFM @100 PSI oil lubricated air compressor to fill Jimmy's bike tire."
A do-it-yourself project also gives you carte blanche when it comes to wearing that ratty, armpit stained "I'm With Stupid" T-shirt your spouse threatens to throw out on a weekly basis. If you forget enough bolts, you can even wear it to the hardware store several times in one afternoon.
Looking back, my preference for grubby clothes and do-it-yourself yearnings really began as a young child.
Alone in my room with a tube of model cement, an X-ACTO knife and my imagination, I spent many a rainy day assembling fighter jets, Navy aircraft carriers and muscle cars. While all of these models came with painfully specific directions, I took these assembly instructions as mere suggestions. Who said a '57 Chevy couldn't sport F-14 wings instead of tail fins? Besides, if all else failed, there was always the "fiery crash diorama" that worked for any mode of transportation.
When it comes to electrical work, however, "fiery diorama" are two words most do-it-yourselfers try to avoid. That is why - no shock here - I'll be the one holding the flashlight and not the guy determining which wire carries negative or positive polarity this weekend. I just hope my father-in-law doesn't keep me in the dark too long.
Grand Traverse Herald editor Garret Leiva can be reached at 933-1416 or e-mail at gleiva@gtherald.com.