September 16, 1998

Hugs and unconditional love: Grandparent prerequisties

By Carol South
      Herald contributing writer
     
      Terry Osinski is a grandmother 16 times and a great grandmother once. But this city resident has enough love and caring to spend time with many more kids each week, kids who might not have a grandmother to love them.
      Osinski is a foster grandparent in the Catholic Human Services' Foster Grandparent Program. For nearly two years now she has provided a weekly dose of grandparenting to dozens of kids in the Early Intervention Program, a program for 3-8 year old children identified by the Northwest Michigan Child Guidance Center as being at risk.
      "There are quite a few kids who don't see their grandparents very often," said Osinski. "They learn that you're there to be trusted and they can feel very safe."
      Osinski and the other foster grandparents sponsored by the Catholic Human Services were honored Friday morning at the services' Gerontological Services Unit office, part of the National Tea Toast honoring foster grandparents nationwide. The National Tea Toast was sponsored by the National Association of Foster Grandparent Program Directors and it invited foster grandparents and program administrators to have a cup of tea at 10 a.m. to celebrate their contributions to children. This is the first year the local program has celebrated the National Tea Toast.
      "These are very special people," said Margaret Courtad, director of the Foster Grandparent Program of Northwest Michigan
      The Foster Grandparent Program of Northwest Michigan began in 1994 and serves children in Grand Traverse, Leelanau, Antrim and Kalkaska counties. In addition to the Northwest Michigan Child Guidance Center, foster grandparents volunteer in Head Start, TBAISD, the Northwest Michigan Migrant Education Projects and the Grand Traverse Pavilions. The program has eight foster grandparents and funding for eight more; Courtad is also working to obtain funding for 40 foster grandparents.
      "There's a lot of interest out there and schools are clamoring for more," Courtad said. "In Head Start programs, the kids get one-on-one help from these grandparents to work on specific skills."
      Foster grandparents must be 60 years old, willing to complete a 40-hour training and able to volunteer at least 20 hours a week. Many, however, find that they spend far more than 20 hours a week, loving the chance to make a difference in a child's life.
      "When I have to take them home, they want just another minute," said Osinski, who estimates that she volunteers 30-32 hours at least every week. "Before you know it, an hour has gone by."
      The local program is part of a national foster grandparent program, which began in 1965. One of the national foster grandparent program's goals is to have a foster grandparent in every Head Start classroom by the year 2000. In Michigan last year, more than 1,200 foster grandparents served 5,000 children and local foster grandparents logged more than 6,000 hours.
      The hours are spent on homework, play, shopping or building social skills. It all leads to building trust and creating safety, which are crucial for two of Osinski's foster grandchildren, whom she gives one-on-one attention. Because of abuse at home or emotional problems, these kids need the unconditional love and gentle guidance a foster grandparent like Osinski can provide, week after week.
      While highly rewarding, sometimes being a foster grandparent has one crucial wrinkle: grandmotherly hugs may not be welcome.
      "So many of them are abused so I don't hug them unless they initiate it." Osinski said. "When you tell them they are doing something wrong, it takes them a while to realize that you are not going to hit them or do them bodily harm."
      Hugs are part of Rose Nemec's job description as a foster grandparent in training. The city resident volunteers at the Grand Traverse Pavilions' Intergenerational Community Center and her job is to rock babies. Rock and rock and rock, baby after baby in the center's day care program.
      "I try to keep the babies happy, to keep them from crying," said Nemec, who clocked 95 hours last month in the rocking chair. "It's a lot of fun."