November 12, 1998
Unitarians hold one wild auction
By Garret Leiva
Herald staff writer
For a silent auction, the name your own smoked turkey and grandma for hire spoke volumes about the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship Autumn Affair.
Sure there were the quintessential homemade baked goods and preserves, but this annual church fund raiser could hardly be considered traditional.
"We want them to come up with something wild, something off the wall," said Autumn Auction organizer, Lilli Wells, who donated a Czechoslovakian dinner for 8 at the auction held Sunday night at the Old Mission Peninsula church.
But this event is more than just coming up with a creative auction item, it is also about putting the fun in fund-raiser.
Participants celebrated this year's Roaring 20s theme in style by donning beads and boas, flapper dresses and fedoras. Keeping with the spirit of the times, auction-goers could sit in a candle lit speakeasy and sing along as a piano plinked out, "Yes Sir, That's My Baby" or "It Had To Be You."
For those that hungered for even more Twenties nostalgia - or were just plain hungry - there were bottomless bowls of "Moonshine Meat Chili" or "Machine Gun Lentil Soup".
As with every year, however, the highlight of the evening was the live and silent auctions. Organized five years ago, the Autumn Auction has become the single biggest fund raiser for the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship, noted Rev. Emmy Lou Belcher.
"It originally started out with the idea that we might raise some money, but the main point was to have fun," said Belcher, who puts her artistic talents to work by hand-crafting an item for the silent auction such as this year's multi-colored spice cabinet.
While the combined auctions raise funds - nearly $20,000 since its inception - it also raises eyebrows. Spread out on tables in the fellowship hall are rows and rows of what can only be described as an eclectic gathering of goods and services.
For the adventurous, there were day sails on a 30 foot Catalina and a plane ride over Grand Traverse County. If relaxation was more your speed, there was a one hour massage or a case of local wines. For those looking to take a break from the kids or chores, there was a grandma for rent and 6 hours of house repairs up for bid.
Arts and crafts by local artisans were also available, including oil paintings, color photography, pottery - even a hand-carved loon.
While the auction appealed to the artistic eye, it also sought to pleased the palette. A Thai dinner for 6 people and a San Francisco style seafood bash were for sale along with four smoked turkeys -which came with the stipulation that the buyer could name their own bird. If that sounded a little too nutty, there was always the 5 pounds of pecans from Stone Mt., Georgia.
As for the live auction, bidders could chose from a number of items including: a timeshare trip to anywhere in the world, a designated parking spot , "name that sermon," which entitled the winner to chose a sermon subject matter, or the mysterious brown bag "pig in a poke."
While the brown bag surprise was no doubt a memorable investment, one item continues to be a topic of interest at each auction - the doctor donated vasectomy.
"The first year it was donated everyone was afraid to buy it, so one of the doctors in the congregation and I bid it up," said Rev. Belcher, who noted that the high bidder usually donates the item to Planned Parenthood or another similar agency.
"Everyone keep saying, 'What are you going to do with it?' - because I'm not married. And I said, 'A-ha, tell me that sermon topic again.'"