Gary Nelson "Gary's World" Published Oct. 7, 2005

Time flies when you're having fun

It always amazes me when I think about how time can seem to fly by in one instance and yet seem to drag in another. When you're expecting something or anticipating an event it seems the months or weeks before the event drag slowly.

Such was the case for me when I was anticipating pending nuptials with my bride to be in 1988. It was an event that we had planned for nearly one year. Although I didn't have too much to do with the actual planning of our wedding, other than proposing and choosing a band over a DJ, it seemed like a very long year. And then, when the big day arrived, that year seemed like it flew by. The twinges in my stomach set in early the day before.

We had a huge wedding party and a huge wedding reception with more than 250 people. For me, it was nothing short of a miracle that I made it through the event without collapsing from a nervous breakdown. Those who know me know that I am not a good person when it comes to getting up in front of a large crowd. Actually I'm not even really good at getting up in front of about 5 or 6 people. My nerves get to me every time. That nervousness has gradually worn off some through time. That and the attitude of not worrying about what everyone is thinking.

There were so many things to worry about with our wedding such as how the people would behave during the ceremony. Would they know what to do? Would they joke around? Our rehearsal the night before was a nightmare. Nothing came together right, people were laughing and messing around and not really paying attention to what the instructions were from the pastor. I was at my limit and was about to yell at some of my family members when I thought, "I'm not going to ruin this event. If it goes wrong at the wedding, it won't be because of me or something I said in a fit of nervous frustration."

And that is how I've tried to live my life since. When things get out of hand in everyday life I just try to relax, think about what's important and who's important to me and calm myself down. Sometimes when you say something in the heat of the moment it can seriously change relationships.

As it turned out, our wedding day went quite well. It was very smooth. It was a warm, sunny October day with a light breeze and hardly a cloud in the sky. That in itself was a miracle if you know how the October weather is in Northwest Indiana.

My wife, Kim, and I are both pretty old fashioned. We didn't see each other before the ceremony and I never saw her dress or her in her dress until she was about to come down the aisle.

When she appeared in the doorway of the sanctuary with her father, I about fainted. Reality hit me like a ton of bricks.

The day that we had long planned for, that took forever to arrive, was here. It wasn't the crowd of people that made me nervous, or the amount of pressure I had put on myself to try and get my friends and family to behave. What got to me was that this beautiful woman whom I had been dating for the past seven years was actually going to marry me. She was there, for me. The reality of that made it seem to me like we were the only two in the whole world. Somehow I managed to compose myself and keep myself from falling. Several people told me later that the expression on my face when Kim came to the doorway was priceless. I can't even imagine what I must have looked like.

This weekend will mark 17 years of marriage for us. Like I said earlier, my wife and I are old fashioned. We haven't been riding the gravy train here the past 17 years. We've stuck it out. There have been many challenges and tough times in our marriage, as well as many joyous, happy times. In either case we have always made it through and communicated.

After moving to Tennessee, having two children together, two career changes and a variety of changes in both of our families, I can honestly say there isn't anyone else I could have it done it with. There isn't anyone I would have done it with either.

These 17 years sure have flown by, but it's taken a lifetime to get here. And to me it still feels like this is just the beginning.

Happy anniversary, Kim. I'll always love you.

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Gary Nelson is a Chronicle staffwriter. His column appears periodically in the Crossville Chronicle. He can be reached by e-mail at gnelson@crossville-chronicle.com.