David Spates "Therefore I Am" Published Aug. 3, 2004

Van Halen and the Democrats -- what a rockin' pairing

What happened to my renegade rockers?

I was watching the Democratic convention the other night when, at the close of John Kerry's speech, came something I never thought I'd hear in a political setting -- Van Halen. Nothing says "democracy" like the delicate, dulcet strains of Van Halen.

I suspect Kerry has never heard of Van Halen. There are probably a lot of Chronicle readers who have never heard of Van Halen, too. Allow me to dive back into my misspent youth and fill you in.

There was a point in the late 1970s and early 1980s when Van Halen was the essence of the rock and roll spirit, which meant kids loved them and parents hated them. They played loud - REALLY LOUD! -- and they played fast -- REALLY FAST! Eddie Van Halen could cram more guitar notes into a 4-minute song than anyone in history, and David Lee Roth's yelps, squeals and growls caused your grandfather to roll his eyes and say things like, "He's not even singing. He's just yelling like a crazy man. Is this what you kids call music?"

Darn right, grandpa. The frontman changed but the song remained the same when Sammy Hagar replaced Diamond Dave around 1985 or so. Van Halen was loud, brash and a whole lot of fun. Van Halen had everything a teen boy looked for in dangerous rock: transparent double entendres, heavy-handed instrumentation and a sense that every night was Saturday night. The bass player, Mike Anthony, was famous for chugging full bottles of Jack Daniels right on stage. Now that's hard-core rock. Van Halen tours were the stuff of legend. They threw after-concert parties that would have made Hugh Hefner blush. The girls all wanted to get backstage at a Van Halen concert. The guys did, too, because, well, that's were the girls were.

If this weren't a family newspaper, I'd quote some of Van Halen's racier lyrics. Believe me, there are plenty from which to choose. But in all fairness, the song the Democrats picked to follow their candidate's formal acceptance of the nomination is pretty tame. It's called "Dreams" and is about soaring to reach your lofty goals, making your dreams a reality, blah, blah, blah. The song is so inoffensive even the Navy's Blue Angels flying team used it in a mid-1980s promotion video.

But it's still Van Halen at the national convention. What's next? Marilyn Manson at the inauguration? Maybe the Red Hot Chili Peppers could play the next State of the Union Address.

I can't help but wonder how Van Halen, the party band of all party bands, was selected for something so institutional, so mainstream, so not-rock? Remember, this is the party of Tipper Gore. Back when I was a teen, she was terribly concerned about my young, impressionable, virgin ears. I had to be protected from the likes of Frank Zappa, Twisted Sister, Def Leppard and, yes, Van Halen. She and the Parent's Music Resource Center were the ones who pushed for warning labels on CDs with explicit lyrics, thereby ensuring that those CDs enjoyed a boost in sales when kids bought them just to see what all the fuss was about.

And it wasn't only Van Halen's music pumped through the Democrats' PA system. U2, those politically slanted Irish lads, were showcased with their hit "Beautiful Day." There was a time not too long ago when U2 railed against anything and everything associated with The System, The Man, The Government. Now their work is played at background music to the American political process.

My how we've mellowed. Led Zeppelin selling Cadillacs? What kind of crazy, backward Bizzaro world am I living in?

It's not just the Democrats doing this. In the early '80s Ronald Reagan's people initially wanted to use Bruce Springsteen's "Born in the USA" in the campaign, but then someone clued them in as to what the song was about and they backed off. Although Republicans traditionally are more conservative and stodgy in their conventions, don't think for a second that you won't hear a rock song when the GOP steps up to the plate later this month.

I don't fault either party for selecting upbeat, optimistic rock songs as their anthems-of-the-moment, and I don't begrudge rock stars allowing their music to be used to promote a candidate they believe in. For me, though, it's just hard to come to grips that the music which was such a big part of my standard-issue suburban teen rebellion has become so acceptable.

It's all part of the aging process, I suppose. In fact, instead of chugging a bottle of Jack on stage, Mike Anthony now chugs a bottle of prune juice.

Rock on, brother!

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David Spates is a Knoxville resident and Crossville Chronicle contributor whose column is published each Tuesday. He can be reached at davespates@chartertn.net.