David Spates "Therefore I Am" Published Dec. 6, 2005

Even after 40 years, "Rudolph" still flies high

The computer geeks at Pixar have a long way to go before they'll produce anything quite so magical as 1964's "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer."

You young boys and girls should gather 'round. Uncle Dave's going to spin you a yarn. It was the mid- to late 1970s. Back in my day, when I was a young whippersnapper like you, oh 7 or 8 years old, we had but three TV channels -- four if you count PBS. People were starting to hear about something called "cable" but no one knew anyone who actually had it. Satellite TV? No way. The only satellites in those days were the ones spying on the Kremlin. Yessirree, three channels. It's hard to believe now. You probably get five times as many channels on your cell phones these days.

Anyway, because TV was so limited, there were a few seasonal shows that really made names for themselves. Because there were only three channels and not 300, those special shows, known back then as "specials," drew in millions and millions of viewers. I mean really, what else were we going to watch? "Chico and the Man?"

My favorite special was "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer," and it still airs today. In fact, my kids saw it for the first time last week. They loved it, too. My 4-year-old asked me why it looks "so weird," and I told her it's not a cartoon like she'd accustomed to.

Instead of computer-generated animation, "Rudolph" was produced using a technique called stop-motion animation. All the "Rudolph" characters were little puppets, I told her. The filmmakers would pose the puppets on sets and then shoot a picture, called a frame. Then they'd move the puppets just a little tiny bit and shoot another frame. They did this for months and months until they had lots and lots of frames, and when you look at those frames on the TV, it looks like the characters are walking around. That's how they made Rudolph fly!

She looked at me blankly for a moment and then said, "Oh, I see!" I'm not sure she really understands, but she patronizes her old man and his long-winded sometimes over-technical explanations. Hey, she brought it up, right? Don't ask the question if you don't want the answer.

I told her and my son that Daddy used to watch the same show when he was a little boy, 30 some-odd years ago. I doubt they grasp the idea of 30 years. Sometimes I don't grasp it either. When you're 4 years old, 30 years might as well be 50 or 100. TV was even more limited 50 years ago. I'm not sure the world was in color either. I don't know about 100 years ago. Had fire been invented then?

Before last week, I hadn't seen "Rudolph" in years, and I caught some subtleties as a 35-year-old that I never noticed as a 7-year-old. First off, Mrs. Claus looks very Eastern European. Santa is a run-of-the-mill dorky white guy, but his better half looks Baltic or maybe even Russian. The show was made during the height of the Cold War, so maybe the producers were trying to tell us something about her politics. I don't know what the message could have been, though. She's very lovable. All she wants is for Santa to be a little more tolerant of his elves and for him to pack on a few pounds before Christmas Eve. Perhaps a little Ukrainian borscht would do the trick. "You're going to disappoint the children. They expect a fat Santa!" I thought the kiddies weren't supposed to see Santa on Christmas Eve. Maybe he feels too bloated from all those plates of cookies and glasses of warm milk.

And then there's Comet, the reindeer in charge of training the young reindeer to fly. An actor named Paul Kligman did the voice (isn't imdb.com great?), but he played him in the style of Edward G. Robinson. What's that all about? I kept waiting for Comet to hole up in an abandon house and start cracking off shots at police outside. "Yeah, yeah! You'll never catch me alive, copper! See! See! Yeah! We won't let Rudolph play in any more reindeer games. See?! Yeah, yeah!"

"Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say ..." You know the rest of the lyrics, but as Hollywood producers often do, they modified the script to add a little sizzle. Unlike the song, it's not fog that Rudolph must overcome but rather a terrible blizzard. Is the blizzard so huge that it encompasses the entire globe? That's why Christmas was nearly canceled. Hey, Santa, if the Earth is suffering a planet-wide snowstorm, don't worry about delivering my presents. I've got bigger problems.

But those aren't the thoughts that run through the minds of my 2- and 4-year-olds. They just want to see Santa and Rudolph and Yukon Cornelius. We even recorded it on TiVo, although the TiVo cut off the last 90 seconds. We miss Santa picking up the Misfit Toys and delivering them to all the boys and girls. I guess even TiVo doesn't want a train with square wheels, a Charlie-in-the box or a water gun that shoots jelly.

Can someone explain what was wrong with the Misfit girl doll? It's 30 years later and I still don't know. I guess even stop-motion classics like "Rudolph" can suffer plot continuity problems. I blame the Russians.

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David Spates is a Knoxville resident and Crossville Chronicle contributor whose column is published each Tuesday. He can be reached at davespates@tds.net