David Spates "Therefore I Am" Published March 22, 2005

Already, I'm making my mark on academia

In addition to staying home to raise a couple of kids, doing part-time work for the Chronicle and maintaining a household, I'm also working on my master's degree with an eye toward being a teacher. It seems like a job I'd enjoy, and I'd hate to look back on life and regret not giving it a shot. Little did I know that I'd be making my mark on academia so soon.

Last year I wrote a column about the South's bad reputation, specifically regarding racism. My contention was (and is) that the South isn't any more racist than any other region of the United States, but that long-standing stereotypes, poor coverage by the national news media and, well, a relatively small handful of fantastically dimwitted Southern bigots have made us all look bad.

The column came after two embarrassing events -- Rhea County officials voted to "ban" homosexuality, and a few Southern Cracker Barrel stores were charged with racial discrimination. I also touched on the Confederate flag, Nazis, Sheriff Andy Taylor and those dastardly Northerners. All in all, I thought it was a fine effort on my part. Anytime I can squeeze Gay Day, cosmic retribution and Barney Fife in the same paragraph, it's been a satisfying day. (You can go to the Chronicle's Web site and use the search engine to read it. Just search "south bad reputation" and it'll pop right up.)

Anyway, I got an email last week from Elliott, a high school junior writing a research paper. Elliott informed me that he's using my column as a reference! Now I ask you, how cool is that!? I haven't even finished my prerequisites to get into UT's College of Education and already I'm molding young minds. My fellow parents, you can relax. The yutes of America are in good hands.

I drive a nerdy minivan, I suffer interminable "Mr. Mom" movie references, and I have dishpan hands, but things are looking up. I'm part of someone's bibliography.

Elliott mentioned that his thesis statement is "The Ku Klux Klan and their hatred of African Americans has altered the way society views the South." I shuddered when I read the words "thesis statement." A flood of high school memories filled my head as I recalled all those term paper assignments. Actually, the term papers weren't too bad. I've always been pretty handy with nouns, verbs and those thingies that say what other stuff is like -- adjectives, I think they call 'em. But there were other school assignments I absolutely detested, like memorizing German vocabulary words or determining magnesium's quantum numbers. Before long, I'll be inflicting that same anguish on a new generation. Like I said, the yutes are in good hands.

Elliott also asked me to opine on how the KKK has affected the South's bad reputation. Well, even if this is the first column of mine you've read, you know by now that I provide my opinions freely. You, gentle reader, get my opinions without even asking for them. Elliott wanted more. Here's an excerpt of what I sent him. I know you didn't ask for it, but you bought the paper. I call it "added value."

"The KKK began in the South and enjoyed its greatest support in the South, but there are skinheads, neo-Nazis and the like in Chicago, Minneapolis, Milwaukee, Los Angeles, Denver, Seattle, you name it. However, when a national media outlet does a story about racism, it usually mentions (or shows, in the case of TV) the KKK. It was a large and powerful organization at one time, but its influence has been significantly drained over the decades. To put it simply, "Wisconsin skinheads" just doesn't sound as menacing as "Mississippi Klansmen." It's all about perception."

Here is a late-breaking addition: Elliott responded to my response. "Your writing skills are excellent! This is going to be one of the best papers I've ever written. Thank you oh so very much for this useful information." What can I say? This kid can spot talent. I wonder if I could adopt him.

If you want to read more, you'll have to get a copy of Elliott's term paper. I suggest you take a moment to read the bibliography as well.

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David Spates is a Knoxville resident and Crossville Chronicle contributor whose column is published each Tuesday. He can be reached at davespates@chartertn.net.