David Spates "Therefore I Am" Published Nov. 25, 2003

Is cursing worse than death?

Am I so atypical from other people? Sometimes it seems my sense of right and wrong is absolutely, completely, totally 180 degrees away from most other folks'. I know I'm a little odd, but am I that odd?

Here's an example of what I'm talking about. I was flipping through the TV channels one night when I came across the movie Ransom. Gary Sinise kidnaps Mel Gisbon's kid and demands a big you-know-what. The Road Warrior is afraid that if he pays the big ransom, Lt. Dan will kill his son anyway, so he tries to get his boy back -- (insert dramatic pause here) -- on his own terms. Predictable hijinks ensue.

There is, of course, plenty of gunplay. In one scene, Sinise shoots a couple of guys in a van. Just before Lt. Dan pulls the trigger, his victims let loose a litany of curse words, the likes of which are, as a matter of course, bleeped out by the network. We can't allow sensitive American ears to be tarnished by such filth, now can we?

After the network's required verbal cleansing, Sinise fires shots that produce gory, splattering, bloody bursts. I haven't seen splashes like those since my old pal "Tubby" McFarland cannonballed the lifeguard at our neighborhood pool in the summer of '82. Blood is everywhere -- all over the van's windows, dashboard, the victims' faces, the steering wheel, the seats, you name it. I don't know exactly how it happened, but blood even gets into the carburetor. That's some impressive shooting. We're even treated to watching small chunks of flesh flying off the victims' bodies.

Well, how nice.

Does anyone else think it's bizarre that a "cleaned-up" version of a movie broadcast on basic cable would include such violence? Furthermore, and I think this is the even stranger part, when network censors "edit for content," they keep the violence but bleep out the naughty words. Am I the only person that finds this totally backward? Shouldn't it be the other way around?

I know, I know. I see the world through a new parent's eyes. Call it an occupational hazard. If you don't have kids, you don't really care too much. I sure didn't back in the day. Before I had kids, if I wanted to watch an action movie (that's a Hollywood euphemism for "violent"), I'd watch an action movie. If I wanted to watch George Carlin reel off his seven famous words (plus a few others), I'd watch it. If I wanted to watch Sharon Stone steam up a police interrogation room, I'd watch it.

Things are different these days. My eyes aren't the only ones gazing upon the screen. There are a 2-year-old and a 10-month-old in the mix now, and that means we must be a little more discriminating about what we watch. Nothing much would phase my 10-month-old. He doesn't know a curse word from Shinola, but my 2-year-old is another story. If she had seen the scene from Ransom I described, even the "sanitized" version, it would have bothered her. She doesn't understand death, but she can tell when someone is in pain. That level of suffering would bother her.

Some day, down the line, she'll see a scene like that, and she'll have questions. My son will, too. That will be a tough issue to explain -- why do people kill each other and, more to the point, why do we enjoy watching it? If you have a good answer, let me know.

On the other hand, I suspect the cursing will be different. I feel better prepared to handle that. I'm not so naive as to think my kids won't hear a steady stream of curse words from age 6 on. It's part of our culture, like it or not. I knew all the words when I was young. Heck, I even upgraded a few to better suit my day.

The best way I can explain cursing to a young child is that there are words that are impolite to use in public. They're just rude. That about covers it, doesn't it? I know my kids will use those words with their friends, they'll get caught from time to time, and we'll punish them for it. I hope they'll eventually grow out of cursing, like most of us have, with no measurable harm from it.

Like I said, I'm a new parent. Even though I see the world through new parent's eyes, I think I'm a fairly good judge of what would bother my kids. Watching a man's chest being ripped apart with gunfire would upset my 2-year-old. It would keep her up at night. Hearing the F-word used 10 times in 21 seconds wouldn't cost her a minute's sleep. Shouldn't that be true for all of us?

Cursing is cursing, and death is death. Of the two, I think death is a little more offensive.

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David Spates is a Knoxville resident and Crossville Chronicle contributor whose column is published each Tuesday. He can be reached at davespates@chartertn.net.