Dress Codes for Professional Coaches
There seems to be a lot of inconsistencies when it comes to
the dress codes for professional coaches. It,s not that they
really bother me, these inconsistencies, but the concept intrigues
me.
As you can see, it doesn,t take much to get my curiosity juices
flowing.
Anyway, the dress code of professional major-sport coaches
seems to vary from sport to sport.
For instance, basketball coaches all dress as though they
just walked out of a Madison Avenue board meeting. The men wear
suits, ties, expensive leather Italian shoes and sometimes even
cufflinks. Jeez, I haven,t been that dressed up since I wore
a rented tux at my wedding.
Like their male counterparts, the women coaches dress very
conservatively and elegantly. I even saw one female coach wearing
pearls (or faux pearls who can tell these days?) on the sidelines
of a college women,s basketball game.
In short, basketball coaches both collegiate and at the professional
level are way overdressed. Think about it. Basketball coaches
are working in a stuffy gymnasium or arena, and they,re the best-dressed
folks in the place. Why? Who are they trying to impress? When
you,re standing next to 12 sweaty players wearing baggy shorts
and tank-tops, you hardly need a $900 outfit to look stylish.
Can you imagine the look of basketball if the coaches wore
team uniforms? Think of Bobby Knight in shiny baggy shorts. Or
Phil Jackson in clunky high tops. Or Pat Summit (sp??) in a tank
top.
Which brings me to baseball. I like baseball coaches. They
look like they,re one of the team. They have uniforms, caps,
numbers on their backs they look as though they could be standing
in the on-deck circle swinging the lumber if the need presented
itself.
Baseball coaches aren,t wearing fancy-shmancy designer suits
in the dugout. Why? That,s simple there,s too much spitting going
on. You don,t want to be wearing cashmere while Len Dykstra is
sitting next to you with a big wad of chaw in his mouth. Basically,
I think baseball,s preponderance of saliva has dictated coaches
attire.
When you come to football, the issue REALLY starts to get
interesting. Although football is a well-established sport in
American culture, there doesn,t seem to be any conventions on
how that sport,s coaches dress.
Some coaches, like past masters Bear Bryant and Vince Lombardi,
choose to don jackets, ties, snappy slacks and hats. Other coaches,
like Phil Fulmer and Bill Parcells, prefer to wear more sporty
attire like warm-up suits and team jackets. If you look up and
down the sidelines, you'd have a hard time distinguishing these
guys from the trainers.
Football seems to allow more individual freedom when it comes
to the dress code of its coaches. If you want to look sharp,
do it. If you want to look sporty, do it.
Wouldn,t it be interesting if football coaches went the route
of baseball coaches and came out of the tunnel wearing knee-high
skin-tight pants, shoulder pads, cleats, helmets, team jerseys
and all the trimmings? If they did, they could head butt their
players after a good play and beat their shoulder pads before
the start of a big game. Nothing like similar-looking clothes
to enhance team unity.
Finally, there,s hockey the last of the big four American
sports. Hockey coaches are pretty much like basketball coaches.
They,re much too dressy to be hanging around the ice with a bunch
of guys whose combined tooth count still wouldn,t be enough for
a dentist to charge his full fee.
So what do all of these inane observations about the dressing
habits of coaches mean? Absolutely nothing. Just shut up and
watch the game.
David Spates is the assistant editor of the Crossville
Chronicle. His column is published periodically.
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